A New Beginning
by Kitt98
Summary: This is a Love Story between Spock and a made up character based on the new Reboot movie.  This story has Mature sexual themes
1. Chapter 1

I walked along the Star Fleet academy halls. As I walked remembered when I was an Ensign here and fought to keep my face calm as the feeling of being nervous flooded me out of automatic response. Captain Pike had called me yesterday and asked me to come. He needed my counseling services at the Academy. I really was not up for this. I had not wanted to come back here. This place was chaotic with all the high running emotions from the Ensigns.

I walked to the Captains Office and pushed the com button near the door. My skin was tingling from the emotions flooding around me, but my outward face was calm.

"Enter."

Pike's voice made me jump internally.

I walked and then noticed another there. A tall, handsome male Vulcan with almost whiskey colored eyes. I paused and realized this must be Commander Spock every one was talking about. He was the only Vulcan, well half Vulcan, in the Academy. I nodded to him respectfully then looked at the Captain.

"If this is a bad time I can come back?"

My slightly accented voice seemed to echo in the still room.

Pike's blue eyes looked at me and he smiled knowing me better then most. My father died around the time I was born and I meet Pike when I was very young. He had been acting like adoptive father to me for a long time. He and my mother, Jannea, have dated a long time but have never talked about marriage. I have never commented on this, but then again, humans out of all species, confuse me the most.

Pike let out a warm, laugh.

I could see why my mother was attracted to him.

"No Lieutenant Commander Allora Brigten please come in. This is Commander Spock."

I turned to the Vulcan and wondered if I should stick out my hand to shake. Vulcan's are notorious for not liking to be touched, but it would be rude not to. I placed my hand out and spoke.

"It is Honor to meet you sir."

I waited to see if he would accept my hand.

I felt as if I was testing him by holding out my hand, and I am not sure why.

"Indeed. Captain Pike talks about you quite a bit."

His eyes seemed to look searchingly into mine.

He then elegantly took my hand and shook it. For a moment I felt dizzy at his touch and it unbalanced me. I took my hand back and took a step back. My eyes went to Pike and I stood at attention.

"Captain you requested me?"

My voice sounded emotionless to me.

I sighed internally.

Pike looked at me with a smile playing around his lips.

"I lost my counselor, she was transferred last week. I thought of you. Being half Betazoid I knew you would fit. I have a new group of Ensigns coming in tomorrow at 0800. Please meet them as they disembark."

I knew he could tell I wanted to say no. So I stiffened my back and nodded.

"As you wish Captain, anything else?"

Pike smirked at me, but with warmth.

"No Lieutenant, your dismissed."

I bowed at him and went to leave. I turned to Spock to find him watching me intently. I pretend not to notice and bowed to him.

"Good day to you both."

I did an about face and left not very happy with the wall Pike had backed me into.

I walked to my new quarters and unpacked my articles. I sat down on the bed and though over my meeting with Pike and Spock. So that was the infamous Spock. I pondered my reaction to him. It irked me. I may be half Betazoid, but I prided my self on being emotional controlled. I did not like my reaction to him. I found Vulcan's to be cold and arrogant. I am sure Commander Spock will be no different. I yawned suddenly tired. I meditated for a while then went to bed hoping to be rested for tomorrow.

I woke up tired and disorientated. Where was I? Oh yes back at the Academy. I sighed softly. How did I get talked into this? Sneaky Pike, I thought amused and pushed off the warm blankets. It was cold in my room, but I slept better that way.

I flinched as my feet touched the cold floor and I hobbled, feeling old, to the refresher. I leaned against the wall letting the warm water work the knots out of my back. I knew I had thirty minutes to make my self-snap out of this and get ready to meet the new Cadets.

I finished washing up and then walked to my small table. I picked up my uniform and smiled. I had only made Lieutenant Commander recently and still felt a rush of pride when I looked at my rank. I slipped on my uniform and brushed out my very blonde almost white hair. It was at one time darker, but a near death experience had turned it this color. I placed my finger along the scar that ran down near my neck and almost down to my right breast. If Pike had not been there. I broke off the thought and forced my self to stand.

With my hair braided, I ordered Klingon coffee. It was stronger then human coffee and was like getting punched in the face. I loved this stuff with a passion. I looked around the small room and drew in a deep breath. I hoped I could handle this, was my thought as I walked out my door.

I watched the people pass me by as I walked the busy halls. Some were Ensigns who had been there awhile. Some were officers, with an important air about them. All lost in their own worlds with their thoughts echoing in my head.

' That professor hates me I swear..

Why can't I work out this formula….

I dread my next class. That student gives me gray hairs.'

I chuckled and continued along. I reached the docking bay and an Ensign addressed me.

"Lieutenant Commander Brighten? Captain Pike told me you where coming. Are you ready Ma'am?"

I flinched internally. I despised being called ma'am, but the baby faced Ensign did not know this, so I let it pass.

"Yes I am, let the new victims-I mean Cadets-off."

I smiled and he laughed at my lame joke. The door opened and I walked in. I spoke in a calm but authoritative voice.

"Good Morning I hope your ride was pleasant? I am Lieutenant Commander Allora Brighten. I'll be picking your brain today."

I heard some groans and nervous laughter. I looked at the twenty people sitting in the shuttle.

Most of them where very young and trying to look mature. I called out their names and let them pass as I did.

I read off a name and paused.

"James T Kirk?"

My breath caught.

I knew that name, his father's actions saved my mothers life. My eyes looked at the young man as he stood. Bright blue eyes with a huge amount of arrogance and sexual confidence stared back at me. I almost laughed. Cocky thing isn't he? I find most human males are, but I could feel his pain and bitterness hidden behind his facial mask. The man next to him though I had meet before.

A warm smile filled my lips.

"Dr McCoy what a pleasure to see you again."

He looked older and slightly bitter. I looked at his hand and saw the wedding ring was gone with only a faded patch there on his skin. Ah, I thought. I had met his wife once and had not liked her. She seemed a cold and very vain woman. But he had been very much in love with the stunning woman with flashing green eyes and musical voice. I stood there and waited to see if he had truly become bitter. His lips gave a half smile, as he looked at me.

His hazel eyes warmed slightly.

"Hello Allora"

He paused

"though I should probably call you Lieutenant Commander now I guess?"

I grinned.

"Only while on duty. Now both of you off."

I turned and exited. I felt the two of them behind me. I stood off to the side, as the two men passed me.

I turned and looked at all the Cadets.

"Welcome, first things first. I am sure you are all tired and hungry. On your data pads are the locations to your rooms, you will share it with another Cadet. Same sex of course. You will be given twenty minutes to clean up, store your stuff and meet me in the Mess hall."

I nodded at them all and exited the room. Once outside I let out a breath of air. I rolled my neck and walked to the Mess hall.

The Mess hall looked the same, but was quiet as most were in class. I walked over to a table and sat, gathering my wits for what I knew was to come. I straightened my uniform and waited. Surprisingly enough, Kirk and McCoy came within five minutes of when I left them. I looked at them both and pointed to the table.

"Gentleman pick a seat."

Not surprising Kirk sat too close to me.

I mentally rolled my eyes. I knew what I looked like. It had always been a problem and I tried to down play my female attributes as much as I could. I am 5'7 toned, but my body seems to want to be curvy no matter what I do. I have startlingly violet eyes, with alabaster skin and that combined with my hair color, is not a combination I would have picked. A dratted Barbie Doll, I hated it.

I looked at McCoy. He looked at ease, but I knew better his thoughts where chaotic and he seemed troubled. McCoy did not like riding in shuttles or beaming through transporters. How he made it in this day and age was constantly a mystery to me. I opened my mouth to speak, when suddenly other Cadet's came in. I almost sighed in relief.

The next hour was a blur, as I spoke about who I was and what was expected of them. I found my eyes looking at McCoy and Kirk often. McCoy, because I knew him and Kirk because I wondered what the Famous Captain Kirk's son was like. After I had finished my speech. I stood smoothly.

"I will leave you to your food. Today, your are expected to learn your surroundings and your class schedule. Do what needs to be done, because of tomorrow life will get a lot more fun."

I gave an evil smile and some of them laughed.

"I will be talking to you all one by one. Where and what time is on your data pad."

I bowed and left.

I headed to the office assigned to me and sat tired. I had forty minutes before the first Cadet showed. I used it to meditate, before the chaos began.

Several hours later, I sat slumped in my chair, my eyes burning and I was not thinking pleasant thoughts about Pike. I looked at my data pad. McCoy and then, oh no, Kirk. I was grateful they where my last two, but not happy that they where coming at the end of the day when I was exhausted. I stood and worked out the kinks in my back.

I heard the chime on my door and turned.

"Come in McCoy."

I watched as the doors open and he strolled in. I couldn't help but smile. I had once had a huge crush on this man. The last year has weighed heavily on him. I had brief unpleasant thoughts about his ex-wife. His frame was almost too big for the chair.

I smothered a smile.

"So McCoy should I ask how you've been or would that be dangerous?"

His deep laughter sounded rusty.

"Still as feisty as ever I see?"

His eyes looked at me almost in a doctor way.

I shook my head same old McCoy.

"Did you expect anything different?"

I grinned and then went serious.

"I never thought you'd join Star Fleet. You always swore to remain a country doctor."

His face went sad and I wanted to kick myself. I found myself reaching for his hand and paused before the action was completed.

"She took everything and left me with nothing Allora. I needed a do over."

His voice was almost broken and anger hit me.

Stupid woman, I thought. I nodded kindly at him and withheld the urge to hug him, though I gave into the urge to touch his hand.

"I for one am glad you're here McCoy. It is nice to see a familiar face."

His hand was warm under my touch and he seem to relax more at my action.

Finally I smiled with warmth and stood. I held out my hand for him to shake. He looked at it. In the old days he would have hugged me, but I was a young girl then and not a grown woman and sadly that changes things. He took my hand in both of his very warm one's. That was one thing that had not changed about him, his hands still held such warmth. Good healing hands.

His eyes looked into mine.

" I thought your hair would go back."

His finger traced a strand, and pain whispered through me at the memory.

" It looks nice but I wish..."

He broke off.

"McCoy you did all you could have done. You saved my life. It was not your fault or Pike's."

I watched him struggle with the memory, doctors always put too much on themselves and this passionate doctor was no different. But this memory was making me feel vulnerable and that is not an emotion I liked.

So I pulled back with a warm smile and stood tall.

"Be at peace Doctor McCoy, I am."

He smiled back at me but I knew he was not fooled.

"See you around Allora."

He gently reached out and touched my face. Then his hand dropped, he nodded and left.

I sucked in a deep breath and waited on Kirk. My pad beeped and there was a message informing my meeting with Kirk would be delayed till tomorrow. I must admit I was grateful. I cleaned up my office and left. I went to the teacher's exercise room and swam for an hour till my body and mind where numb. I left and ate back at my quarters. I finally fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I tossed in my sleep as what most would call a nightmare held me in its claws, but even in this deep of a dream I knew it was a vision. It was too real and too vivid. The colors, the sounds, I could even taste the air.

I saw Pike in a chair as the ship around me hummed with pain and death.

"What is it Spock?"

His voice was laced with pain.

I looked at the screen and saw a graveyard of dying ships. The souls on the ships screamed through me. I shivered at thousands of lives dead or dying. I could feel it.

"I do not know for sure. It seems almost Romulan, but not anything I have ever seen before"

His voice was calm but under it, where most people would not hear, I heard something close to fear.

I fought wildly now. Spock afraid? Federation people were dying. Must stop this must…

Wave after wave of death hit me, I was screaming in my dream and knew that scream was echoing out of my body, as my mind was trapped in this. I felt something enter my mind.

"Breath Lieutenant Commander Brighten you must breathe and relax or I cannot help you awaken."

I jumped, startled.

_Spock? Was that Spock in my mind?_

"Yes, now stop being illogical and breathe."

I felt a hand touch my face.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. We are one."

As he spoke I felt my body relax. He saw my vision and slowly I came out. I turned my head and his face looked down at me, next to him was a pale Pike.

"Are you with us fully now Lieutenant? When you did not show this morning, I reached out in my mind and felt you screaming"

Spock's deep voice echoed in me and I forced my self to fully wake up.

"Yes, I am sorry for this inconvenience."

My eyes flickered to Pike and he sat on my bed.

Spock's hand slipped from my face and suddenly I was cold. Shivers racked me and I fought against them.

"Was it a vision Allora?"

I nodded, at Pike, not trusting my voice due to the pain of admitting.

"I was hoping not, from the screaming coming from you. I was hoping it was just a dream."

I rolled to my side and up from the bed. I swayed and Spock caught me.

I was too raw and lashed out.

"LET ME GO."

I pulled back hard and he looked momentarily stunned. Something about Spock made me unbalanced and I was already too raw. I ran to the bathroom and threw up again and again. I sat there ashamed of my emotional outburst at Spock and my lack of control. What the heck was happening to me? I felt another walk in and knew by scent that it was McCoy. I had spent almost a year with him when I was fourteen, as he healed me. I'd know his scent anywhere.

"Allora talk to me."

He sat down near me and I heard Spock and Pike near the door.

Why did this happen now and why when I was not alone? I despised being weak near others. Pike being the exception, but I could not lie. It was a vision and mine always come true.

"Death McCoy and lots of it. I was on a ship and Pike was commanding it. Spock was his second in command. I saw broken, dying federation ships all around us and the people were dying. We were under attack by what Spock to believed to be Romulan but he was not sure."

I felt McCoy touch my shoulder and I refused to cry but the words would not stop.

"I felt them all dying! So many, oh God, so many, screaming and in pain! Thousands of lives all gone and I knew, somehow I knew, it was not _over_."

Slowly the shivering stopped and I felt exposed. I stood and walked to the sink. I washed my face and looked up at my reflection, I flinched. My skin, already normally white, was colorless and my eyes glowed, another sign it was a vision. My hands gripped the sink.

"When and where this was taking place I do not know. It cannot be to far in the future, but…."

I broke off, frustrated.

I stood there looking at my eyes till Pike spoke.

"Let go of the sink Allora your bleeding."

My eyes flew to him then my hand as self-disgust filled me at the fact of how pathetic I was being at controlling my emotions. I let the sink go and parts of it crumbled off. Blood dripped down my hand and to the floor. McCoy reached over and held my hand as he healed it.

I spoke and my voice was empty.

"Please leave me to dress, I am almost bare."

I watched color came to McCoy's face and I almost smiled when green patches showed up on Spocks' cheeks as well. Pike walked to me and hugged me tight. Had Spock not been there I might have hugged him back, but since he was I did not. Pike searched my face and the three men left the refresher. I steadied myself and cleaned up. I dressed and fought my emotions down. When the door reopened I appeared calm and in control.

"Dr. McCoy, you need to get to class. Remind Cadet Kirk I still need to talk to him at 2100 hours."

I dismissed him.

He gave me a dark look not happy with me at making him leave. After he exited

I looked at Pike and Spock.

"Shall I talk to Admiral Tikken Sir?"

I could tell Pike was not happy with my now cold behavior, but alas I am who I am and he knew this. The three of us left my quarters. I was silent during the entire walk to the Admiral's office. We pushed his com near the door and he spoke asking us to enter. At first he smiled with pleasure at seeing us until he noticed the emotion rolling off Pike.

We all sat and I replayed my vision for him. The Admiral almost did not want to believe my vision but he knew better. He seemed to age and the next hour was spent on trying to figure out where and when this happened. No answers were found. I stood after the discussion was over and left to go to my office. I was feeling trapped and needed to escape.

I moved faster then normal and almost collapsed after the doors to my office, hissed shut. I forced myself to walk to the window and look out. I knew more visions would come and the thought made me ice cold. Senseless death I hated above all else. I felt it and it rippled through me with such pain. I laid my head against the glass and now that I was alone I felt the tears come. How was I supposed to stop this? Why was it happening? My body shuddered with my sobbing, as I knew people I cared about were going to die. My heart screamed its denial and suddenly a hand touched my arm.

I screamed and spun around.

"Spock? What the heck are you doing?"

His hand steadied me. Vulcan's did not like touching or being touched.

_So why did he seemed unbothered with touching me?_

"I do not know the answer to that question either"

He spoke softly.

I realized he had heard my thought as I blushed, beat red. Crap, just crap, such a human expression of words filtered through my mind and I almost smiled.

"Why are you here Spock?"

I looked at his hand on my shoulder. His eyes traveled to it as well.

"I felt your pain, you were being swamped by it. Without thought I followed you. Although this action is highly illogical, never the less I felt the need to do so. That in and of itself, the concept 'felt', confuses me."

I laughed then. I could not help it.

"I know Vulcan's feel they just hide it under a block of ice they call logic."

That quizzical eyebrow of his raised as I spoke the words.

"Indeed?"

His hand removed itself from my arm and I felt bereft at it leaving me.

I stiffened not liking this. I wanted him gone. He made me feel unbalanced and this was not acceptable.

"I am fine now, you may leave. There is nothing for you to analyze here."

An almost human emotion flashed in his eyes and then was gone before I could get a sense of what it was.

"You do not seem to like me and I cannot help but wonder why?"

His voice was so calm and logical it set my teeth on edge.

I shrugged at him.

"Think what you want, Commander Spock. I have a busy day and Cadet Kirk will be here soon."

I bowed to him and he bowed back, but the look he gave me as he left let me know he did not consider this conversation finished.

I heard a faint mocking voice in my head.

_Coward_ it whispered and the voice sounded very much like my own voice. I sat in my

chair forcing a calm.


	3. Chapter 3

Later on in the day I waited in my office and my com chimed.

"Enter, Cadet Kirk".

He swaggered in; there was not other word for it. I had to fight not to laugh. Could this young man be anymore full of himself? I watched him sit and gave a polite smile.

"Hello, Kirk, how are you today?"

I said pleasantly.

"Bored, I suppose"

His eyes seemed too old for his face.

"You won't be soon."

I looked at him

"Why are you here?"

He paused and then laughed. It was a deep pleasant sound.

"Captain Pike dared me."

His cocky smiled flashed at me and I could not help but laugh as well.

"Yes, that I can understand. But will you stay here out of that dare or will something else draw you in, I wonder?"

I stood and looked at him.

"I owe my life, and my mothers, to your father."

I raised my hand to stop his words.

"Let me finish. In a moments time your father had to make a decision, one that altered the course of time. It saved many others lives while it ended his. These are such moments that echo in eternity, Kirk; what we do when our soul has been laid bare and we have to make that decision about what truly matters. In that moment I pray, like your father did, you find the strength within you to make the right one."

His brilliant blue eyes looked at me. They where less cocky and something almost vulnerable was in them. Then in a flash it was gone.

He stood and smirked.

"Sure, beautiful, whatever you say. Anything else before I go?"

I wanted to pound his head in at his flippant response, but instead shook my head.

"No, Cadet, your dismissed."

I watched him swagger out, but I knew my words had taken root and they would come back to him again later.

I stood feeling caged in. I checked my scheduled and saw it had been changed due to this morning. I walked to my quarters and changed into my old running clothes. I took a shuttle and landed it outside the Academy.

As I stepped out of it, water began to fall. Running in the rain had never bothered me. It always made me feel like I was being washed clean. I set a pace and began running. As my feet pounded the ground, my mind cleared and I began to relax. Move, contract, move contract, this chant filled my mind. I took in the sites feeling more at peace and relaxed. Then out of nowhere another vision hit me. Screaming filled my mind and I fell to darkness.

As I resurfaced from the vision a buzzing filled my head. I was warm and a hand was touching my hair. I knew that touch, Pike. I spoke without thought.

"Hello, Father."

I had called Pike that since my near death experience.

"Hello, Sunshine, welcome back."

His words let me know he had been worried.

"How long was I out?"

He paused not answering.

My eyes opened, he looked drawn and tired.

"How long?" I touched his leg as I spoke.

"Long enough he called me."

I turned hearing my mothers voice and love filled me.

"Hello Mother. As happy as I am to see you my question has not been answered."

I spoke sardonically though my eyes held laughter.

"Four days, McCoy was worried and asked Pike to call me."

I sat up slowly and looked at McCoy as if saying 'gee, thanks a lot'.

He gave a sheepish grin and pretended to be busy. I sighed out loud knowing what was coming.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having visions? Why did you not call me up and ask my advice?"

I love my mother, but lord help us when she gets on a roll.

I groaned and my eyes pleaded with Pike. He winked at me and spoke.

"Love, let her breathe, she had just had the first vision that night when the second one hit her that evening."

My mother relaxed slightly as I fought back a headache.

"This one was worse, wasn't it, Allora?"

Pike touched my face as he spoke.

"Yes a planet died father and I could not…."

I broke off and a scream threatened to over take me.

A planet, millions of lives gone.

_Where and when? Dear God, where and when? Why was I not able to tell? _

I laid my head on my arms and my mother spoke.

"Although your visions have never failed to come true, they do not always give us the whole picture, my dear one. This is not your fault."

Anger roared through me and I glared at her.

"That is not good enough, mother. A whole planet."

My voice, a low growl, shook with emotion.

I heard my mother sigh deeply and sit. No one spoke for a moment as we absorbed a truth that was coming and we could not stop.

"Is there anything else you can tell me, Allora?"

Pikes' voice was almost a whisper.

I shook my head hard, not wanting to talk. He stood and kissed my forehead as he had done many times before as I was growing up. "

Sleep. You need it."

He made my mother leave with him.

I lied down and watched McCoy as he looked at something. His face turned and he walked to me. He pulled up the blanket and smoothed my hair off my face as he had done when my body had been burning up with a deadly fever all those years ago.

"Sleep, Allora."

I closed my eyes feeling temporarily safe.


	4. Chapter 4

I opened my eyes to quiet. I looked around and saw a nurse was pulling up some data and she noticed me awake. She smiled and checked my vitals.

"Feeling better?"

She said in a heavily accented voice.

I nodded and then got up. I checked my data pad and noticed I had a class I was teaching in an hour. I grinned; life never stops even if we want it to. I cleaned up and dressed. I couldn't seem to get the energy to braid my hair so I clipped it back, but left most of it loose. I hoped I would not get in trouble for being out of regulations, but was too tired to truly care.

This showed a lot about my state of mind. I walked to the classroom and as the door hissed open, I was relieved to find the class still empty.

I set up my touch board and sat. Several Cadets walked in talking about a hard exam. I heard male laughter and I knew it was Kirk. He was flirting with a green skinned Cadet. I bit back a laugh. McCoy was behind them, lost in whatever he was reading. As if sensing me he looked up. Some of the strain on his face eased at seeing me here. I nodded at him and waited for all the Cadets to sit down. Once there was quiet I began.

"What is the purpose of this class?"

I looked around and noticed no one offered a word.

Many nicknamed this class social grace, but it was a cultural class for learning about others so that we did not insult or hurt with our actions and words. I gave a soft smile.

"We are ripples and everything we do touches others whether we know it or not. We have to monitor our own actions, and ourselves. There are many cultures out there and some vastly different than our own. As officers of the federation, we can either cause peace or war."

I told them to open their holo books to a specific page.

I talked for about thirty minutes about Klingon's and their culture. Things were tense, to say the least, between the Federation and the Klingon's at this time. The bell chimed and class was over. I watched the cadet's file out. McCoy came up to me and his eyes scanned me.

Always the doctor, I laughed.

"I am fine McCoy, stop worrying about me"

I was lying but he did not need to know that. He had too much on his plate. He shook his head.

"Not buying it, but, we will talk later, oh feisty one."

I rolled my eyes as he spoke knowing it would make him grin.

He did, then left laughing. I stood there in the now empty classroom. What was I going to do? I could not force a vision, nor could I try to delve deeper into this one and find out more about it. How could I receive such a vision and not know how to stop it?

A vicious headache slammed into me as I tried to replay the vision. I had known better but could not stop myself. I gripped the chair and fought to breathe.

I heard the door hiss open and knew it was Spock.

A groan filled my lungs.

W_hy was that whenever I was the most vulnerable that blasted Vulcan seemed to show?_

"I sensed you are hurting that is why I came. Does that answer your question?"

My head snapped up and I knew my eyes where flashing anger.

"Stop reading my thoughts, Vulcan."

I was not used to anyone getting around my mind shield; he was the first since I had taught myself how to guard my thoughts. How he was able to conceive such an action confused me.

So I voiced this.

"Why does my mind shield not stop you?"

He tilted his head and folded his hands in front of him. His movements where calm and very graceful. I could not help but appreciate the way he moved. No movement seemed rushed or wasted.

"To correct the first, I can not help but sense your thoughts, it has been something that has intrigued me since I meet you. As for the second, I am not all together sure. I know Betazoid's to have very strong mind shield and I can sense yours but for some reason it does not stop me from hearing your thoughts."

Something whispered in me, mother had told me once a long time ago.

_That 'only the one who was designed…' _

I broke off that thought forcefully.

No way was I going to even allow that thought to finish itself in my mind. I leaned back and looked at this man in front of me. I studied him trying to understand this pull.

He was taller than most men with very black hair cut in the normal Vulcan style. He had a very aristocratic face. With had high slashing cheekbones and a full mouth. His eyes were mostly brown with slight hints of yellow. They where an odd, striking color. Almost whiskey colored if it had not been for the deeper brown flecks. His body frame lent to being lean, but when he moved a certain way I could tell he had muscle mass on him. In a smooth movement he stood up as straight as he could and then held still. He knew I was examining him and allowed this for some reason. His hands fascinated me, I must admit. They were long and tapered. Whenever he used them it was in a graceful, almost musical way. My eyes traveled back to his face and I could swear he had a very male look on his face.

"Are you done? Did I pass?"

His voice was calm but I could sense a trace of humor underlying it.

The impulse to kiss him just to stun him shocked me. I have never wanted to kiss anyone. I had flirted with the idea when I had my crush on McCoy, but I was young and very naive at the time. I was no longer this naive. I had never kissed a man or been kissed.

I took a step closer to him and watched that eyebrow of his raise at my action.

"And if I said yes Spock? What would you say?"

My hand move without thought and touched his hand that he had placed on the chair neck to me

_What the heck was I doing? My God was I flirting with a Vulcan? Had my brain taken a leave of absence without my permission? _

I waited for him to say something cold and logical after all that was what Vulcan's were known for. Instead he did something that shocked me. His eyes flickered to my lips. I felt my breath catch as heat rolled through me.

I sucked in a deep breath, becoming light headed. Would he kiss me? I did not think Vulcan's felt passion.

"Once again you are assuming about what you know little about."

His voice was very deep now and I felt myself tremble.

My com shrilled loudly in the room and I jumped back fast. I was flushed and felt bare. I pulled my hand off his and reached for my com.

"Yes?"

My voice was low and almost shaky sounding.

"Allora?"

My mother's voice rang out.

What timing she had!

"I am here, mom, did you need something?"

"Yes I need to talk you now. It is important."

I felt relief rush through me.

"Of course I'll be right there."

I gathered up my touch board and went to rush out afraid to look at Spock, afraid of what I would see or what I would not see

His hand shot out gripping my arm and stopped my actions.

"This is not over… we need to talk."

I looked at his hand on my arm as he spoke and fought my reaction to his touch.

"Why can't you be emotionally empty like other Vulcans?"

His head snapped back and in that instance I hated myself. There was no reason to be so horrible to him.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek at my meanness.

"Oh God, Spock, I am so sorry."

He started to withdraw from me, but I stopped him. My hand touched his face. This was a rare action for me and we both knew it.

"You unbalance me, Spock, and God help me, but that scares me."

I slowly let my hand slip from his face almost in a caress.

His eyes looked deep into mine.

"It would be illogical to let fear control you, Allora."

His use of my name vibrated through me.

"I know Spock, trust me, I know, but it is not illogical to have fear. Sometimes we use that fear to protect ourselves."

His eyes continued to look at me calmly and I forced my self to finish.

"Am I forgiven for my stupidity?"

He almost smiled; almost.

"Yes, but you are not stupid. I find those that feel strongly sometimes lash out to protect themselves, and yes, before you deny it, Allora, you feel strongly. What I do not understand is why you think I would hurt you?"

My mind flickered back to when I was fourteen.

"Because, Spock, I have trusted once before and it almost killed me."

With that I left as fast as I could. Who had I become? Since my fifteenth birthday I had been in control of my emotions. I had trained and trained till I was shielded and guarded. Why now, of all times, and with him of all men, was this happening to me? Then another question whispered in my head. Was I strong enough to handle this? I walked through the Academy lost in my own thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

I walked to my mother's room and went to press the com, when her voice rang in my head.

_Are you being silly? Come in, dear one._

I smiled and walked in. My mother was sitting while Anna, my mothers Android, brushed my mother's hair. Anna had been a gift from my real father and no one had been able to duplicate her. She was extremely unique and for a while had been my only trusted friend and link to my father.

My mother looked at me.

"What is going on between you and that handsome Vulcan."

I found myself blushing again for the second time today.

"Motherrrrr,"

I groaned.

"Must you stick your nose where it does not belong?"

At her laugh I stood straight and smoothed out my uniform.

"Nothing, mother, absolutely nothing. I am an enigma to him and once he figures me out he will become bored with me."

I waved out my hand when she began to speak.

"I will not talk about it with you. What is it you truly want from me?"

The laughter vanished from her eyes that were so much like mine.

"So much you do not know and yet I could not bring myself to tell you."

She patted the spot on the bed near her. I walked over and sat down. Her hand cupped my face.

"I loved your father with a wild abandon and he died saving us. I made a promise to tell you the truth, but out of fear I did not. Your father was a Tegonan."

I reared back hard.

"What?"

I shook with emotion.

" Aren't they a race that had been hunted to extinction by a jealous race who wanted their powers?"

My mother nodded sadly

"Yes your father-bless him-was one of the last, and now, my dear, so are you."

I sat there stunned. Not much was known about the species. Other than the fact that they were a very old race and very powerful. I did not want this. I wanted to be normal, but what was normal?

"Is this what you wanted to say to me?"

My voice was now calm and flat.

My mother's eyes flashed with rare anger.

"Stop hiding; stop refusing to feel and live. We all make mistakes. You did not ask that stupid boy to attack you. You DID nothing wrong, Allora."

I stood so fast it almost hurt.

"I trusted him mother. I let him in and he beat me and almost killed me. Had Pike not been there he would of…"

I could not finish. My mind refused to acknowledge the horror that could have been. I forced myself to calm.

"Not all men are monsters my dear one. Pike is not, nor was your father."

I nodded and took a calming breath.

"This is true. The question is why now, mom? What is going on?"

"I think your visions are about to come true. Soon, very soon."

I had feared as much. My mother stood.

"I am leaving Anna with you. She knows all about your people, some she has not even told me, but I know she will tell you. Please, my daughter, do not give up on love."

Her eyes pleaded with me.

I nodded to her, more to calm her then to truly mean it. I hugged her tight and my com dinged.

"Yes?"

"Lieutenant Commander Brighten? Your needed in the office Cadet Kirk is in trouble."

I sighed deeply.

"Be right there." I nodded to my mother as I and Anna left.

Anna walked beside me as I traveled the halls.

"What are you thinking Allora?"

Her strangely accented voice filtered around me.

"More than I want to. About these visions, about Kirk, my father and about Commander Spock."

The last was whispered.

I walked into the office. McCoy, Kirk, Pike and Spock were there. Tension was thick in the room. I closed my eyes and fought for my famous control. When I was calm, I opened them and looked at Kirk.

"Well?"

Kirk grinned.

"Well I said something Uhura did not like"

He stated with glee.

I groaned out loud.

"Why, Kirk, must you mess with her?"

Uhura was a stunning dark skinned woman with a mind that could process any language. She was bright, funny, and did not suffer fools lightly. Too bad she considered Kirk a fool. Kirk seemed to take that as a reason to hit on her and try to get her to change her mind.

"Well you see, Lieutenant, she is a woman and I am a male. And…"

I put up my hand and he ceased talking.

"You, Kirk, need a good dose of salt peter."

McCoy choked hard trying not to laugh.

"Who is Salt Peter?"

Spock asked quizzically.

McCoy choked harder.

"Not 'who', Spock, it is a 'what', and it is supposed to help men like Kirk be less…"

I searched for a correct word.

"Active."

McCoy lost it and broke down laughing.

I fought a smile myself, then looked at Kirk.

"The Academy is not here for you to make notches in your bedpost: it is here for you to learn to be a Starfleet officer."

I looked into his eyes and sensed something.

"Kirk listen to me, whatever it is your are planning to do before your test tomorrow, do not do it."

His eyes widened.

"Please Kirk I mean it."

He continued to look at me.

"Dismissed, Kirk. McCoy, see if you can keep him out of trouble, please?"

McCoy laughed.

"Yeah, sure, that should be no problem."

He said sarcastically as they left.

I let out a deep breath.

"I think you are punishing me by having me to take care of that Cadet."

I said in a deadpan voice to Pike.

He roared with laughter.

"Would I do that?"

He tried to look innocent.

"Yes, you would."

He winked at me and then left.

I shook my head. "

"Why me?"

I asked.

"I do not understand the question. Why you what?"

Spocks' voice drew my gaze to him.

"It was a rhetorical question, Spock, so there was not meant to be an answer."

I smiled at him without thought.

Then he stepped closer to me. The heat from his body seemed to reach out to me

"Should we talk more now?"

I sucked in a deep breath and looked around noticing we were now alone. How had that happened?

"I, umm, well, see."

I was floundering, not a good sign. He stepped closer to me.

"Stop that." I whispered.

"Stop what?"

His calm voice echoed.

"Moving close to me."

I stepped back from him.

"Why?"

He moved forward again.

My eyes snapped to his, I could swear he was laughing.

"You know why."

I took a breath and refused to be bulled. I stood my ground and watched him.

"Spock? I thought Vulcan's were, well, emotionally cold."

"Yes and no. I am only half Vulcan, my other half is human and I feel more or reaction then a normal Vulcan does, but there are areas in our lives where we are not detached."

His hand reached out and traced my face.

I shivered at the touch.

"Why me?"

His eyes flickered over my face.

"Can't you feel it Allora?"

'_Should I lie?'_

I thought.

He would probably know if I did.

"There is no time for this, Spock."

My words sounded lame even to me.

His face lowered and I could feel his breath on my face.

"Are you being illogical again?"

"Yes, don't do this."

His face moved closer.

"Do what?"

"Kiss me."

He did smile this time.

"Was that a request?"

Blasted sneaky Vulcan.

His lips were soft like a whisper of silk in mine when another vision hit. As I sunk into

darkness I felt him gather me to him.


	6. Chapter 6

When I came to I was being held close to a warm body with a heart rate that was so very much faster then mine.

"I thought Vulcan's were cold blooded?"

My voice sounded weak.

"They are but I have human blood in me as well."

He titled back my head.

"What did you see?"

"A rift in time and a woman die."

His brow furrowed.

"What woman and what caused this rift in time?"

I thought on it.

"The woman I do not know, but the rift in time was caused by vengeance; one very angry man wanting to cause pain to many."

He helped me to sit up, and I took a breath.

"I need to talk to Pike."

I stood and for a brief second leaned on him. My eyes looked up at him and his finger traced my bottom lip. I had to go, but found it hard to leave. Finally I gathered my wits and moved away from him.

"Are you coming with me?"

Spock nodded and we left in search of Pike. Anna followed close behind. We found Pike in the mess hall talking to my mother. He turned and saw us; something on my face gave me away to him.

He walked briskly to me with my mother following.

"Another vision?"

I nodded. I was becoming very tired of this gift.

"What did you see?"

"I was on the planet that was being destroyed. I saw what looked like a human woman fall off the edge as the world exploded around me. I saw a man who had twisted time to come back and hunt what he hated."

I breathed deeply.

"That was all, forgive me, I am so very tired."

My mother was looking pale.

Spock stood nearer to me somehow knowing I was nearing my breaking point with these incomplete visions of death. His warmth seeped into to me help me calm.

Pike tilted back my head.

"What ever happens, Allora, it is not your fault."

"Isn't it?"

My voice was raw. I step away from my father touch and my back hit Spock. I stood there needing to be near Spock and not knowing why, but I was in to much mental pain to care.

"I am seeing it and cannot stop it."

I looked at Anna.

"Why?"

The android spoke.

"If you are not getting the full picture you are not meant to stop it but only prepare for it."

I was suddenly angry at her cool voice; how lame of a response was that? She meant no harm; she was only speaking what she knew. I closed my eyes and re-centered my self. I felt Spock shift nearer me and for a moment I wanted to ask him to hold me and make it better.

I did not, that would have made me feel weak. I opened my eyes and looked at Pike. Then, I looked at my mother and finally Spock.

I then spoke softly.

"I am tired and need sleep."

I saw an emotion flicker through Spock's eyes and wondered what it was about me that seemed to bring out his more human side. I bowed to them all and walked back to my quarters. I removed my uniform and as I closed my eyes I prayed that no more visions would come to me tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

I was already in my office and talking to a sad Cadet when my brain finally woke up the next day. The Cadet had failed a test and was taking it hard. My door hissed open and McCoy rushed in.

I stood up fast.

"McCoy, this is not acceptable."

He interrupted me.

"Kirk is in big trouble."

I felt the hardening of my face.

"With?"

"Spock."

He spoke in a rushed manner.

"What did he do?"

McCoy looked sad.

"He rigged The Kobayashi Maru test."

"Crap! Oh, no."

I looked at Cadet Polleran.

"Forgive me I have to go we will pick up later."

The Cadet was looking at McCoy horrified. Most of the cadet's were afraid of Commander Spock. McCoy and I took off running. McCoy griped my hand and Anna was close behind. Kirk was in a waiting room and I rushed in.

"I told you not to, didn't I? Did I not say whatever it was you were thinking to rethink it?"

"The test was not fair."

His voice held no regret.

"It was not supposed to be fair. It was a test to see how one handles death, Kirk. There is no winning it but only being true to your self."

"I do not believe in no-win situations, Ma'am"

"Kirk"

I groaned frustrated.

"This is not about _your_ beliefs. It is about the Federations rules."

"More like that pointy-eared bastard's rules"

McCoy chimed in.

"McCoy, you are not helping me."

I glared at him and he fell silent.

"Kirk look at me."

His blue eyes flickered to me. I took in a deep breath.

"You have such extraordinary talent, Kirk, and the natural ability to lead people. However, a good leader accepts that he does not know all as well as knowing he needs others."

"I know, but you need to understand. Saying there are such things as no-win situations is what lead my father to believe his death was the only way to protect those people."

I looked at him stunned from his words. What could I say to that? I sat down near McCoy and we all did small talk until they called us for his hearing.

After three hours, I was called into the large counsel room. This would be the hearing to discuss Kirk's actions. Kirk was brought in and stood defiantly off to the side. I saw Spock walk in. He glanced at me then away.

_What a mess,_ I thought.

The Admiral was glaring at Kirk. Kirk showed no remorse for his actions and even defended his actions when asked questions.

"Cadet Kirk, this council finds no alternative then to suspend you for the time being. Your actions and behavior are inappropriate."

I stood up and spoke.

"May I speak?"

Admiral Trikken nodded.

"Of course."

I stood and walked to the front. Many eyes watched my moves and I felt like a bug under the microscope.

"Kirk has a brilliant mind and the natural ability to instill confidence in those he leads. I think the Academy would be losing a brilliant future Captain…"

I broke off as buzzing filled my head. I could feel it: death. I grabbed the table near me and started to shake.

'_No, No! Not here in front of everyone, NO! I will not be a freak; please?_

My thoughts scattered.

I felt Spock come to me.

"Lieutenant Commander? What is wrong?"

I opened my mouth but the words I planned to speak did not come.

"It is here. We have no more time. War has come. Remember all I said, Spock."

I screamed out in pain and fell back. Spock caught me before my body hit the floor. I shivered in his arm

Alarms blared out.

"This is not a drill. This is not a drill. Red Alert in…"

The computer droned on and I looked at Spock. As I looked into his eyes it hit me: his eyes were the same as the woman I saw die. Pain roared through me. I now knew that human was his mother and that the planet I saw explode was the Vulcan homeworld.

"No, No, you must forgive me, Spock, forgive me."

My hand traced his face, needing contact with him. The more I tried to speak though, the more pain ripped through me. I fought it back to tell him.

Anna's voice broke through.

"If she continues it will kill her. She needs to be put under as her mind cannot take this much active death."

Spock looked at her then at me. I saw pure emotion on his face this time.

His hand traced my face and he placed his fingers to my temple.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. We are one."

I felt him start to push me under and begin to struggle.

"Stop this Allora, what ever it is you want to say, it is not worth your death."

I gasped out hard and gripped his hand so hard it had to have hurt.

"Promise me that you will not hate me. _PROMISE_!"

He looked so confused and he leaned over me.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I could never hate you."

I looked at him, for a second all seemed to hold still. My heartbeat matched his and his breath was warm against my skin. Then the world began to fade out. I knew I would not awaken till he awoke me.

"We shall see, Spock."

Then all went black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I dreamed such vivid dreams. Screams of death. More screams of anger and hurt. I felt others' pain. Then I felt Spocks pain. I reached out to him in my mind. I saw him near a window and he looked to be almost lost. I reached out my hand and pain rippled through me at the action but my need to comfort him was stronger.

His head turned and his eyes widened.

"Allora, what are you doing?"

"I felt your pain, it called to me."

He looked lost and I touched his face.

His hand gripped mine hard.

"You should not be here. Doing this will hurt you."

But I could sense in that moment that he needed me.

"I know, but I am not always logical, Spock."

I wrapped my arms around him.

"Come back to me alive, Spock, please."

His fingers traced my face.

"I endeavor to do that."

I felt my control slipping and I started to fade. I watched a tear roll down his face and I wanted more than anything to stay there and comfort him.

I drifted again. I knew Spock's world had died and now whatever had killed them was coming to earth. I was helpless to stop it. I felt Pike's pain and I raged in my mind demanding that he live, but I could do nothing. I wondered how much of this was a dream and how much of it was real?

I felt the people of Earth begin to panic. I felt the pain build and then there was an explosion, but not here on Earth. Out there in space a man filled with hate died. The threat was over but the price, it seemed, had been too high. Still I dreamed on. My mind drifted as I waited for the next piece to be moved on the chessboard of my life.

How long I slept, I did not know.

Finally, I felt a touch on my face.

"Awake, Allora."

Spock's voice stirred through me.

I moaned as if in pain. I knew it was time but I was afraid. I knew that my visions had come to pass and now the aftermath would be rippling around us.

"Allora, please stop being stubborn and wake up."

McCoy was trying to sound tough but I could hear fear.

Spock's hand was still on my face as he forced me to the surface. I gave in to the inevitable and opened my eyes. I heard McCoy breathe out a sigh of relief. He looked so tired and the pain was so raw in his eyes.

I looked at Spock and his eyes were guarded.

"Do you hate me?"

My voice sounded so lost and hated it.

"Hate you? For?"

He sounded confused, then he understood.

"It was not your fault, because of your visions I was able to save a lot of my people. I realized I could not stop it and instead focused on saving as many as I could."

I felt tears roll down my face.

"The woman was your mom. Just before you left I figured it out."

I shivered.

"Nero did this, Allora, not you: Nero."

Spock's voice was cold steel and my hand tightened on his and he held onto it.

I relaxed at his action, then I saw Pike. A whimper of pain escaped from me when I look at him seeming frail and in a wheelchair. I sat up fast as my stomach rolled.

"Oh father, what happened to you?"

I scooted to him.

"It is ok, Allora, I will heal."

But I knew it was mostly a lie. He had been permanently damaged by the torture at Nero's hands.

I sat there on the edge of the bed. My hand was on Pike's knee.

"Tell me what happened?"

They spoke, filling me in about a man named Nero and his planet being destroyed by a super nova. They told me about a future Spock who was trying to stop the super nova but he did not get there in time. So when Nero's world was destroyed he blamed Spock and destroyed the Vulcan planet to make him suffer as Nero had. Then he came after Earth to destroy us for doing nothing. This man Nero had been the one to murder Kirk's father. He had caused a huge rift in time, which had altered all we knew.

I watched my father's face and let this filter through me.

"He is dead. I felt this. What will we do now?"

"Heal and move on. There is nothing else to do."

Pike's voice was wiser then I had ever heard it before

I bowed my head.

"All those people dead. Some were good friends."

I pulled my knees up and felt sobs tear at my inner being.

"I knew I could not stop it, yet it will haunt me."

I saw the faces on all those I knew gone all because of one mans blind hate. Hate is like cancer; one it takes a good root in you; it is hard to remove; it slowly eats away at you until your nothing but an empty shell. I had to face my greatest fear.

I needed Pike to help me out of this darkness.

"Did I fail, father?"

I felt movement and his hand tilted my face up.

"How can you even ask? All we have is what is given to us. Little moments in time that make us who we are. You have always been willing to risk all to save others. But don't you see? Your death would have saved nothing and hurt many. I need you, my daughter, in my life to keep me sane."

I looked at him and laughed.

"Why, because mother drives you insane?"

"Yes, but if you tell her that I'll deny it,"

I heard chuckling around me.

I looked around the room. Pike, McCoy, Admiral Trikken, Uhura, Spock and Kirk were all present. My gaze settled on Kirk.

"I was right wasn't I?"

It was not a question to him and he knew it.

"Not the dare but something more."

He seemed older, more settled. The bitterness had softened and a more at ease and comfortable Kirk was standing there. I smile warmly at him for the first time since meeting him.

"I am proud of you Kirk, but sadly you are no longer my Cadet."

He walked over to me and touched my shoulder.

"True, but I am and always shall be your friend."

I tilted my head up and nodded.

"I would be honored to serve under you, Captain Kirk."

He laughed a warm sound.

"Nothing escapes you, does it?"

We all laughed at that. I could tell they needed the laughter after so much pain.

I stood shakily.

"How long, McCoy?"

He looked over at me and knew what I meant.

"A little over three months."

I drew a deep breath and grimaced.

"I need a bath."

Anna walked over to me and helped me to the refresher. I winked at Uhura as I walked by her, then I glanced at Kirk. Uhura's cheeks pinked and I chuckled softly as the door hissed close behind me I spent quite a while under the hot water. When I finally felt clean, I stepped out and Anna helped me dry off. My body was weak from a long sleep and I had lost weight.

I shook my head at the reflection.

"I look like a skeleton."

Anna kindly said nothing. I dressed into my uniform and clipped up my hair. I walked back out to face the others.

The door re-opened and I felt more in control and balanced. I walked out and looked at Pike.

"I still can't see you doing a desk job"

He gave a groaning laugh.

"That was below the belt brat."

I smiled at him and walked closer.

"You're still my hero, father."

I leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"Well are we ready?"

They all nodded and we headed to the ceremony for Pike to be come an Admiral and Kirk to be come an official Captain. He was to relieve Pike from his position on the Enterprise. All the Starfleet officers where in their Dress Uniforms and although there was sadness in their eyes, there was also honor.

Admiral Trikken spoke with pride.

"We are here to honor the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. For her honor and her sacrifice to save us all."

He looked at Pike, Spock and Kirk.

I saw his gaze linger on Spock, as many including me, felt he had given more then he should have to. The Ceremony was beautiful and all too brief. I knew my wonderful father would never serve as a Captain again. I felt my eyes well with tears and I looked down.

A hand slipped it's self in mine and I turned slightly to McCoy. I laid my head on his shoulder and smiled.

"He looks happy doesn't he despite it all?"

McCoy nodded.

"Yes he does and as you told me once. Be at peace all will be well."

I stood there with him till it was over. Then, I watched the crowd thin out. McCoy introduced me to a man named Lieutenant Scott, the Enterprise Chief engineer and then two other ensigns. One's name was Ensign Sulu and the other Ensign Chekov, both where to be the helmsman of the Enterprise. Chekov had the most innocent baby face I had ever seen. I could not help but smile with him. I looked around and saw Spock missing. Something in me pushed me to find him. I bowed to the others and went walking. I had the computer find him and headed to where he was. It took me a while to get there and as I walked my heart mourned for how empty the Academy was. So many had died and it was heart breaking.

I came to a docking bay and the doors opened. It was mostly silent there with the exception of machines humming. I walked further in and finally saw Spock talking to an older Vulcan. I paused feeling like maybe I was intruding when; the older Vulcan looked over at me. His face changed to one of pure astonishment.

Spock turned his head and looked over his shoulder at me.

I felt stupid and began to back up.

"Forgive me I am intruding, I'll catch up with you later Spock."

I went to turn when the other man's voice rang out.

"No please stay."

The way he spoke was almost odd.

I studied him highly confused. I walked to them slowly sensing something deeper was going on here that I was not catching on to. They both watched me till I came to a stop near Spock.

I nodded to the other Vulcan.

"Hello I am Lieutenant Commander Brighten."

I held out my hand to him and he looked at it with something close to humor in his eyes. When he reached out to hake my hand, he brought up his other one and his larger hands covered my smaller one. This stunned me, as Vulcans do not do this. My skin seem to tingle from his touch and I forced a smile at the man. His eyes looked at me and I saw things moving behind them. As if he was watching a movie I could not see or hear.

"Yes I see this, my memory is altering as we speak to compensate for this time, it is vastly different from my own."

I had no clue to what he was talking about.

His eyes looked up from our joined hands to my face.

"Something's about things about this time are very painful and some…"

He smiled at me with such warmth.

"are much better."

I know I looked totally baffled and could not help it. He was not acting like any Vulcan I had ever meet. He just nodded to Spock and almost reluctantly let my hand go. I took a centering breath and before I could ask what it was I was missing, something in me whispered not to. So I let it drop. I now felt unsure what to say or do. I looked at Spock and then the other man who still had not introduced himself.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and stepped back.

"I think I shall leave now. I need to pack for the Enterprise. Spock will you be on the Enterprise?"

His eyes looked at me and he nodded.

"Indeed, I am asking to remain as Second in Command."

His voice still so calm made me feel more at ease.

I bowed to both and turned.

"I shall see you there then Spock."

I left feeling the other man's eyes on me as I left.

I heard him whisper as the doors closed

"Fascinating. She is utterly fascinating."

I felt my cheeks flush and was glad when the doors closed. I decided I did not want to know, this was too much above my head.

I walked back to my room and Anna was there.

"Am I to come with you Allora?"

I looked at her clearing my thoughts.

"Yes I believe that would be wise."

She began packing.

"Are you alright you look.. dazed?"

I sat on the edge of my bed.

"Well that is how I feel dazed. Did you know I had a huge crush on Dr. McCoy? He is a good man, one could not care for a more honorable man."

Anna touched my shoulder.

"But it is not him your thinking of is it?"

I let out a shuddering breath.

"No it is that confusing, irritating, Vulcan Spock"

She grinned and we both went to packing.

Anna and I left my now empty room. My heart twisted slightly as we walked to the docking area. I stood there while the shuttle landed.

I felt Uhura walk up next to me.

"Lieutenant Commander Brighten?"

I turned to face her.

"Your not a Ensign any more you are a Lieutenant. You do not have to address me that way right now."

I suddenly felt old. I was only twenty-six and yet I felt old. I shook my head. She gave me a dazzling smile. I smiled back.

_Poor Kirk_ , I thought.

"Allora I am glad you're coming with us."

I had an impulse to hug her and gave into it. She hugged me back tight.

"So am I."

I whispered.

As I walked onto the shuttle with her and a couple others I felt eyes on me. I looked up and saw the older Vulcan standing up on the balcony watching me with an intense expression. My heart thumped again, I took a deep breath and my eyes stayed locked with his, as the shuttle flew off. When I could no longer see him I felt almost sad. Who was he? And why did he feel so familiar to me?


	9. Chapter 9

The shuttle flew up to the Enterprise and I sucked in a deep breath.

"Stunning ship isn't she?"

Uhura's voice echoed what I was thinking.

I nodded. We docked and Uhura and I walked off.

"My room is near yours Allora."

I grinned suddenly happy as all three of us walked through the ship.

She had already been broken in and yet she still shinned to me. I had seen the blue prints for the ship but not the finished result. Anna was silent as we walked.

We neared Uhura's room and she smiled.

"Your room is there and Kirk's further down."

She turned then laughed.

"Spock's is right there."

She pointed to a door two down from mine.

I fought off a blush and laughed feeling naughty.

"And McCoy's?"

She laughed with me

"On the other side of mine."

She walked into her room and I walked to mine.

When the door opened I whistled at the spacious room.

"So this is how the other half lives."

Anna looked at me confused. I laughed.

"Just let it go Anna I am being as Spock would say, illogical."

She looked at me oddly and helped me unpack. Afterwards, I sit down and sighed content. I was on an extraordinary ship, about to go where few had gone before. I felt strangely content. Not a feeling I was use to. I saw the time and jumped up. I dressed fast and hurried to the bridge. I got lost twice.

"Blasted big ship."

I hurried into the turbo lift and slammed into a warm frame.

"In a hurry Allora?"

A familiar laughing voice spoke. As warm arms held me steady

I looked up and laughed with McCoy. I winked at him and placed a warm kiss on his cheek.

"Sorry I was, well, lost, this ship is large."

He nodded.

"Tell me about it, My Med-Bay is huge."

We both grinned and the doors opened to the huge bridge. I faltered almost gawking at the size.

McCoy's deep voice rumbled in my ear.

"Better close that mouth before you catch a fly."

I elbowed him and he grunted.

I walked on to the bridge and Kirk turned to see me.

"Your late Lieutenant Commander Brighten."

I blushed hard.

"Me thinks someone is enjoying his rank of Captain too much and intends to have revenge."

He threw back his head and laughed.

"Would I do that?"

He tried looking innocent but his brilliant eyes were filled with a mischievous light.

I pretended to sigh with exasperated. I looked off to my side and saw Spock watching me. I cleared my throat and took my seat.

Kirk walked to the Captain's chair.

"Ensign Sulu parking brake off?"

The entire crew on the bridge burst out laughing.

At my confused look McCoy nudged me.

"I'll explain later."

I shrugged and once Sulu was done blushing he spoke.

"Yes, Captain."

"Then ahead warp one."

"Aye Captain warp one"


	10. Chapter 10

The first couple days on the Enterprise, was an adjustment. I had to alter my time clock and way of doing things. I woke up early as normal, but spent the first half of the day going over reports of the crew on the bridge, then the second half talking to certain crewmembers about problems or questions. Today was the third day and the senior staff was heading to the meeting room on deck five. Captain Kirk had called us there. I walked in and found that so far the only other person there was Spock. I will admit I had been dancing around Spock since we got on the ship. Another words, I was trying to avoid him. I know childish it was but, never the less, it was what I had been doing. His head looked up.

"Morning Lieutenant Commander today find you well?"

I was amazed how his voice was always so calm.

He was standing with his hands behind his back now and had that remote look of calm logic he has always worn on his face since I meet him. I felt the urge to, as they say on Earth, push his buttons.

I instead walked over to him and nodded.

"It finds me, Commander, awake. Where are the others?"

He raised that eyebrow of his at me.

"The meeting is not for another forty minutes Lieutenant."

I looked at my com and groaned.

That is what I get for not drinking my coffee. What was I going to do? There was not enough time to go anywhere, but I could read some reports. Last I had saw Anna she was talking to Lieutenant Scott or Scotty has we called him. The engineer seemed entranced with her and I smiled at the thought. I had the replicator make me some Klingon coffee and I read my reports as it fazed in. I grabbed the cup and took a deep sip, I felt more awake as it filled me. I walked back over and sat down. I sensed movement and looked up. I found Spock watching me in his ever-annoying calm way.

I tilted my head and forced a smile.

"Yes Commander?"

He stood next to me, which I found irritating. Spock was a very tall man, most Vulcan's I have found to be somewhat taller then human's, not all, but most.

"Sit Commander before you make me break my neck."

"Most illogical as I would never do so, it would serve no purpose."

I groaned.

"Just sit."

He pulled out the chair next to me and sat, Once again I couldn't help but notice how elegantly he moved.

"How long Lieutenant, are you going to avoid me?"

Typical, Vulcan straight to the point and very blunt. I sipped my coffee not answering right away as I knew it would irritate him. He folded his hands in front of him on the table and I watched the action. I have to admit I adored his hands. Long and tapered, I felt soft heat come to my cheeks and I fought it back.

"Am I avoiding you Commander?"

I said in a cool voice matching his demeanor.

"Must you be illogical and difficult Lieutenant?" He asked perplexed

I could not help it I laughed.

He looked at me confused.

"Is there a joke to which I am missing?"

I chuckled some more and shook my head.

"I am laughing at us Commander. Both of us trying to act mature and emotionally cool, well at least I am. I am sure it is not a act from you."

Although I was still smiling a small note of sadness filtered through me.

"Commander."

I said softly.

"You have to see this would not work? You're so different from me, while I try to act detached and remote, you truly are. I hide my passions and emotions, do you even have any?"

My hands held the warm glass tight. I was enjoying the heat from it. He reached out in a control motion and took my hand in his. He looked at my hands and I was floored by the action.

"I do feel Allora."

His voice was still calm but something flickered in his eyes.

"I speak logic and I think logical, but I do feel I just keep these feeling under control. I am however, mostly detached from all others but Kirk and now it seems you."

His hand held mine and his thumb was moving over the back of my hand. Heat built up around the area at his actions.

"Vulcan's have and feel emotions but they normally are only shown with their mates and family."

I took a calming breath.

"I am neither Spock."

He looked at me intently.

"Aren't you? I know you're an intelligent person Allora. I know you sense what is happening between us."

I looked down at my smaller hand in his much larger one.

"Yes but is it wise?"

He looked confused at my question and thought on it.

"Wise how so? Is this a question of the heart or of other things?"

His voice was peaceful to listen to.

"Question of the heart, Spock. A organ that I am not used listening to."

I gave a small laugh and his hand tightened slightly around mine his only reaction to my words.

I heard the chime and knew the others would be here soon.

I turned my hand in his and squeezed his hand.

"We will talk more later."

He pulled back and I went back to reading as the others filed in.


	11. Chapter 11

_**I watched Uhura and Sulu walk in talking about a problem Sulu was having with a plant he was trying to alter. Uhura looked over at me and grinned. **_

"_**Morning Lieutenant." **_

_**Her voice was warm and I grinned back at her, then nodded at Sulu.**_

"_**Morning how are you both?" **_

_**I asked kindly.**_

_**Sulu described the plant and what was going on with it. I found my self-responding to his enthusiasm. Chekov came in with Scotty and Anna. Anna was watching Scotty as he spoke and Chekov was laughing. They sat down as Scotty continued his energetic story. Soon McCoy and Kirk came in. McCoy sat near me and finally Kirk spoke.**_

"_**Good morning all. We are in intercept course to Pillarna II there is a group of criminals there causing problems. We are to stop there and aid them anyway we can. This is not a federation planet but we are a protector of it. Please learn their customs and structure. When we get there, I will give you further instructions on what I wish each one of you to do. Now tell me what is going on around my ship?" **_

_**The next hour we all took our turn talking about what problem were arising and what may arise. **_

_**Finally Kirk turned to me.**_

"_**Lieutenant Commander Brigten how is the crew adjusting?" **_

_**I sat up straighter. **_

"_**They are doing well. Most of them have been on this ship since the first time that it left space dock and are secure in your leadership. The others are comforted by the trust the older crewmembers show. So for now the crew is well, with the exception of small things that are normal on a large ship." **_

_**Kirk winked at me and I smirked at him, this was normal for him, only around Uhura did he act less sure. We all stood as the meeting came to a close and others broke off to compare notes and talk about certain things. McCoy came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. **_

_**I felt comfort at the action.**_

"_**Are you ok? You still look tired Allora."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**There are still visions McCoy of different things and of different times. Some make sense and some do not." **_

_**His worried eyes looked at me as I spoke. I touched his hand. **_

"_**I will be ok McCoy this is my burden but thank you for caring." **_

_**I squeezed his hand and moved back. I was still not comfortable with too much touch; some scars till haunt us no matter how much we try to heal them. I left the room after promising to come to McCoy if it got too much. I walked to the side and gathered my thoughts. I heard warm laughter and looked off to the side. Anna was standing there talking to Scotty. I watched them amused. I will admit, I listened into the conversation.**_

"_**I do not believe you Scotty."**_

"_**Aye Lassie is this a face that would lie to you?"**_

_**He gave her his most charming smile, and if an android could blush she would of done so.**_

_**I smothered a laugh.**_

"_**You think your smooth Scotty and but I think that Scottish blood has warped you head." **_

_**He roared with laughter.**_

"_**You're a feisty Lassie aren't ye Anna?" **_

_**He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then walked off humming a Celtic sounding tune. **_

_**I snickered and turned to the lift.**_

_**I walked to the lift and Uhura and Scotty where talking as they walked next to me. Anna was watching me now worried. I got on the lift as Uhura and Scotty went another path. **_

_**Anna entered with me.**_

"_**Your visions are bothering you again?" **_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**I get weighted down by them some times, what can I do?" **_

_**Anna looked off.**_

"_**What I am about to say you will not like." **_

_**I leaned against the turbo wall watching her. **_

_**She continued on.**_

"_**Your race gets this way when they are needing to be centered, they only find this centering in their other half." **_

_**I groaned and looked off. She laughed.**_

"_**I knew you would not like it, but it is the truth never the less."**_

_**I remained silent at the doors opened and I got off. I walked to my chair off the side of the bridge. I sat down and Anna walked off to the side. I went over the reports and soon found my self-hungry. I looked up and saw the time had passed. It had been over two hours. I stood and stretched my back twinged. I turned and looked over at Kirk and Spock. **_

_**I knew they where talking about the planet that we would be at in a couple hours. I smiled at the difference between the two men. Kirk was slightly shorter and stockier. His blond hair was slightly eschewed from him running a hand through it. His blue eyes flashed as he spoke animatedly. Spock stood straight with his hands behind his back. His almost whiskey colored eyes watched Kirk calmly. His movements where calm and with no waste of energy. They where such opposite and yet there was a bond between these two men. I said hi to an Ensign a she walked by me. **_

_**Kirk heard my voice.**_

"_**Heading to lunch Lieutenant?"**_

_**I looked over at him **_

"_**Yes, hungry Captain?" **_

_**He nodded, then him and Spock walked towards me. **_

_**The turbo lift opened and we walked in. The lift hummed and as it lowered from the bridge. It opened to another deck. The three of us stepped off and to the dining hall. We sat down, Kirk ordered a hamburger and salad. Spock declined any food. I ordered a sandwich and waited. **_

_**Kirk looked at me.**_

"_**I will need your help when we get to the planet. I know you can sense emotions and thoughts better then Spock. These criminals are highly dangerous"**_

_**I thought about his words and knew that one of my visions was about to come true. A test of my self it seemed.**_

"_**Of course Captain. I will do my best." **_

_**I finished my food as the com rang out.**_

"_**Captain we are nearing the planet and we are being hailed." **_

_**Uhura's voice spoke to us. **_

_**We all stood and Kirk walked in front as Spock and I trailed behind. I stayed quiet as Kirk spoke to Uhura about the update of the planet situation. As we entered the bridge I felt a wave of hate swirl off the planet. I gasped from the feeling and Spock stopped me from tripping.**_

"_**What is it Lieutenant?" **_

_**I straighten and took a centering breath.**_

"_**Don't you feel it Commander?" **_

_**He raised his hand to my face and felt my thoughts.**_

"_**I do now, hate in a extreme form directed at us."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**We are not wanted here by someone."**_

"_**Indeed." **_

_**He stayed near me till I calmed. Then we walked to the screen.**_


	12. Chapter 12

Kirk began an intense discussion with the Leader of the planet. Plans where laid down on what they wanted from us, and what we were able to do. The government had placed a mole in the mist of the terrorist group plaguing the planet. The plan was to find their next move and exploit it.

The main crew beamed down first Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Sulu, and McCoy. Then later Anna with me. More of the crew would come after the plans had been finalized. Sulu and Scotty walked off setting up some sort of force field.

I saw Anna watching Scotty and smiled.

"He is cute isn't he?"

She heard me and laughed.

"Yes he is."

Anna did not see the point of lying.

I shook my head and pushed her.

"Go on I am fine."

She gave me a warm hug and walked over there to spend time with Scotty. I shook my head and began taking in the feel of this planet. I spread out a blanket and sat down. I went into a mediation pose and reach out, then I felt another sit down.

"Hello Spock, doesn't Kirk need you?"

He sat close enough his thigh was brushing mine.

"He was the one that sent me over here Lieutenant."

Sneaky Kirk, I made a mental note to hurt him later.

"I would like to help, how may I do so?"

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I scooted closer and brought his left hand over my heart and his right to my head. I mirrored his hand placement on my body to his body, except I moved my hand lower to where his Vulcan heart was.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. We are one."

As I finished speaking the words, I felt his mind truly join mine. It was something I had never experienced before. I could feel his very breath in my lungs. My senses where heightened as a Vulcan's where. I gasped out and felt everything he felt. I started to wonder if maybe this had been a bad idea when he guided my thoughts away from that.

_What now Allora?_

His voice echoed in my mind.

I pushed our minds to where the hate was coming from. Our combined minds saw a hidden building under ground. There were a large amount of men in one room and in the other room's women and children.

The men were talking.

"They brought in a Federation ship, what will we do now?"

An important looking man spoke up.

"The same as we always do. I will find out all I can about the Ship and destroy it if need be."

He sounded mad.

"Be careful Senator, this is my group not yours."

Spock and I both understood what that meant. The government had a traitor in their mist. We both studied the man. Short with muddy green eyes and a stocky build. He had a scar under his chin and he seemed to be missing part of his left thumb. We stayed there for a while listening. Then very slowly we pulled back. I felt myself re-enter my body and Spock's hands were still on me. We were still connected, I saw some of his memories without meaning to. One of him and his mom was talking to him being two halves of one whole. I know he saw some of mine. I pulled away from him very softly, letting my hands drift down. My hands settled on his knees and my eyes opened. We did not say a word for a while absorbing what had just happened. His hands rested on top of mine.

"I saw you and your mom talking Spock."

He nodded.

"Indeed and I saw you being beaten."

I sucked in a breath and stood.

He touched my arm

"It was not your fault Allora, that young man was wrong in the head."

He pulled me into his arms and I leaned on him stunned. He felt so solid and real against my skin. His scent and heat filled me. A part of me I did not even know felt broken healed.

"Thank you Spock."

He reluctantly pulled back and we both left to talk to the government.

At the center of the planing table, Spock and I spoke to the man in charge. When we described the man.

The Leader of the planet paled.

"He is my Uncle, how dare he."

The younger man hissed out in rage and pain. I ducked my head feeling bad. The Leader walked off a bit to cool off and think. When enough time for him to cool off had passed he came back. I dismissed my self, as I knew I would be no help here. I walked over to Anna and watched her and Scotty set up some trigger bombs. They moved as one and often their hands touched. I felt a pain in my heart. Spock would never be like that. He was too controlled to ever show his emotion for me around others. Or openly touch me unless need be.

I turned my back to them and walked to a hill. I let tears of sadness flow down my face, knowing no one was around.

I felt a touch in my mind.

_What is it Allora? I feel your sadness.'_

Spock's calm voice echoed in my head. I couldn't help but smile.

_Nothing just worried about the mission._

I knew he would not buy it, but this was not the time or place

_Your being illogical by thinking you can lie to me. We will talk later._

I laughed now out loud. That irritating, dictating Vulcan, but I knew arguing would get me no were.

_Sure now go away._

I felt almost a caress on my face and he was gone. Our mental bond was getting stronger. Now that did bother me. I sat down and meditated hoping that this would not go badly.


	13. Chapter 13

After a couple hours, I felt a touch on my shoulder.

"Ready Allora?"

I smiled at McCoy's soft words.

"As ready as I'll ever be, do we have a plan?"

He chuckled.

"Sure a crazy one, but you know Jim"

I laughed with him and stood. They were planning a trap. There was a building that was usually used as a storage place. They where going to send out false information about it being filled with weapons to help combat the terrorist. They knew the terrorist would want it for their own needs. It would require most of the group to get in and out with the stuff before the so-called alarms would go off and the government troops would arrive. The surprise, we would already be waiting there.

Most of us set up the hiding spot, while Kirk, Scotty and the some of the main troops set up the explosion. Kirk was like a little boy with a new cool toy, as Scotty showed him how it all worked.

Uhura and I were fighting laughter as we watched him crow and dance around with glee.

"They never grow up do they Uhura?"

She grinned widely.

"No they do not, give them a new toy and they are little boys again."

Spock over heard us and shook his head.

"Most illogical females."

Uhura and I burst into laughter.

As time drew near, we all went into the hiding tent. Darkness came in and I felt my skin tingle at the chaotic emotions. I felt some one near me and knew it was Spock.

His voice whispered in my head.

_Breathe and center. I feel the emotions beating at you._

I took a cleansing breath and moved slightly closer to him. I could have sworn I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips at my action. Then, we heard them coming. They were being quiet but the motion detectors picked them up. As they closed in on us. The government troops surround them. Then in a blink of an eye all heck broke loose as the fighting began. It was loud and messy.

I used my senses to take a couple out with out killing them, just blows to the back of the head. Then I tried nerve pinch Spock taught me. Only I got it wrong. He turned and got the drop on me. He threw me hard and I hit a rock. I rolled over and favored my ankle. He came out me with a knife and we fought for a while. It felt like he had slashed ever inch of my skin when I was finally able to get that stupid nerve pinch right. We had the main group of them backed into the first floor of the storage place.

Kirk demanded their surrender and they refused. I backed up to a hidden spot knowing what was coming. I watched Captain Kirk and when he gave the signal I pulled the chord the floor exploded under the criminals and the battle was over. I sat back worn out. I limped down the hill my ankle throbbing but I knew there more wounded far worse then me. I came to the first one and began medical treatment. He had a huge gash on his thigh and I did not know his name.

His odd green eyes studied me as I cleaned up his wound.

"I am Lieutenant Commander Brighten and you are?"

"Ensign Turrek ma'am"

I let him see my flinch.

" On no not Ma'am I feel old now"

He gave a weak chuckle. I cleaned up his wound and got the bleeding to stop. After he was stable. I moved on to next person.

I grinned at the older man with the kind brown eyes.

"Getting into trouble again Jason?"

He laughed

"Anything to get your attention Lieutenant."

I touched his shoulder and began cleaning the wicked gash along his abdomen. He sucked in a deep breath.

"Am I hurting you?"

He made a face.

"Come on show me your war face."

I teased him. He grimaced.

"Ehh I have seen better."

He gave a weak chuckle as I cleaned him up more. I bandaged him and stood.

"You'll be beamed up soon."

I continued this for a while till I was weak. I leaned against a rock and closed my eyes as the world spun.

I felt a cool hand on my check.

" Lieutenant?"

How does he do that? My eyes opened to a disheveled Spock, he seemed blurry around the edges and I let out a loopy laugh.

"I see two of you Spock."

His face went tense and he scanned me.

"You are low on blood Lieutenant."

My brow furrowed.

"How I am not that wounded?"

"No but you have many wounds and they are all bleeding."

I leaned back weaker.

"Well what fun."

I giggled oddly and Spock leaned over and picked me up. An old woman came up and offered us water. Spock refused, but had me drink some. When I was done, she looked at me and took a necklace off her neck. It was beautiful and seemed to shine with an odd light.

She placed it over my neck and whispered in my ear.

"Forgive me I have no choice, I need to be free."

I looked at her confused but was to weak and leaned more on Spock as the world spun again.

His voice spoke near my ear.

"Enterprise two to beam up."

I blinked and fazed out.


	14. Chapter 14

When I came through. I heard McCoy talking well more like grumbling.

"What the heck was she thinking? Walking around on a broken ankle and multiple lacerations. Plus a damaged rib?"

Spock's voice was low and calm.

"She was helping others and it is logical to assume she did not know the extent of her injuries, as her adrenaline was pretty high." My eyes fluttered open but something was wrong. I did not feel in control of my body_. _There was something else in control of my body.

_Relax. _

A voice in my head whispered

_I just want to borrow your body for a bit. Let me and I will not hurt anyone, refuse and well you know what powers you have._

My heart speed up and McCoy noticing this placed his hand on my arm.

"Your safe Allora relax."

His eyes stared into mine sensing something was wrong but not knowing what.

_Do we have a deal Allora?_

The voice mocked.

I had never truly been scared before, but my powers I believed, could destroy this ship and all in it.

_Yes please do not hurt them._

A cold laugh echoed in my head_._

_Good they are fine male species I would have hated to hurt them. What are their names?_

My eyes flickered to McCoy, then Spock.

_Bones and the other is a Vulcan named Spock. _

I could feel the entity studying them.

_I like this Bones_

I heard my voice speak.

"I know that Bones as long as you're here I am always safe. Thank you."

I groaned in my head.

_Little thick don't you think?_

The entity hissed at me then paused_._

_Hmm would not want them to think I am not you so I guess I'll back off for now._

She had me stand and then made my legs shaky. McCoy caught her and she purred in my head

_He smells good._

I said nothing utterly furious at the old woman_. _

_Oh do not be to mad at her. It was either you or her daughter._

I was silent as she wondered the halls, then finally out of exasperation. I thought to her.

_Up a deck and room 557._

I felt the entity grin. She looked at the males that walked by and most blushed not used to me looking at them like that. I fought my anger knowing it did no good.

She walked to my room and yawned.

"Oh no how boring."

I stiffened and she began to paw through my clothes till she put something on I would have never worn. It was tight and reveling. I was not happy to see my body displayed in such a way. She looked in the mirror and at the outfit.

"Well at least you have a nice body and face. Nasty scar though."

I stuck my tongue out at her in my head.

I know it was childish but I felt better. She laughed at me and walked out. Ensign Chekov he was so stunned with my outfit he ran into a wall. A seductive laugh rang out of my mouth and I cringed.

"Oh handsome are you all right?"

She helped him stand and Chekov fought to keep his eyes above the neckline.

"Yes Vieutenant. V've was not watching where V've was going."

She kissed his cheek.

"No problem."

She waited on me

_Chekov._

"Chekov glad your ok."

She patted his cheek and strutted off. I felt his eye's watched me leave stunned.

_You know the gig will be up less you tone it down, I am no way sexual and your making me a tramp._

She thought on my words and sighed deeply.

_How boring but sadly true. _

She toned down my walk and only looked at the men slyly. Over the next two hours I felt the urge to throw up as she flirted with the cute single men on the ship. She was like a dog in heat and I was not happy. Anna was there with Scotty and I could tell they where having a nice dinner. I wanted so badly to call out to her. She looked so happy. Scotty was dressed nice and she kept touching his hand and he would blush at each touch. My stomach twisted, with pain and joy.

I heard a voice and flinched internal when it was McCoy's.

"Allora? What are you? Your outfit is umm."

His cheeks were red and I so wanted to smack this thing in me. She touched his hand.

"What? You saying I am normal ugly?"

He turned a deeper red.

"No just more conservative."

I heard her sigh in my head in frustration and laughed

_Told you.._

_Shut up._

She hissed at me.

She toned it down a bit and when he started to relax she began learning all she could with making it look like she did not know him. It was getting late and my body was still worn out. She felt it and stood. She leaned over giving him a good shot down my shirt and kissed his cheek.

"Good night handsome."

McCoy blushed at her words.

As she turned and I saw Spock watching, although his face looked calm I could sense he was not pleased.

_What is the cold Vulcan's problem?'_

I shrugged a mental shoulder.

_We talk and he.. I do not know. He cares for me in his own cold way._

She laughed_. _

_I do not like Vulcan's they are passionless creatures_.

She walked by him and to my room. She sunk into bed and I got pulled under into

sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

We both woke up to my alarm ringing.

"Why must you get up so early?" She whined.

_I am the ships counselor._

She groaned and dressed in the uniform I told her too. She walked to the office whining the entire way. I was read to kill her. She did as I told her though out of fear of them finding out. This lasted most the morning with her not liking what I told her to say but doing it anyway.

She looked at the clock.

"Food time." She gave a smile and walked out. "Where does McCoy work?"

_He works in the Med-Bay why?_

"I am bored and have been good."

She walked to the turbo lift and it shot down to the level the Med-Bay was at. She walked off and into the Med-Bay.

_Where is he?_

She pushed me in my head.

_Probably in his office he works out around lunchtime._

She grinned and walked into his office with out pushing the com. I gasped shocked at her actions. I heard him in the refresher and then heard him coming out. Please let him be somewhat dressed I pleaded in my head. She gave a cold laugh and turned her head. He had a towel over his waist and I relaxed some.

_The good doctor is nicely built._

She purred in my head.

McCoy's eyes widen in shock at me there in his room.

"Uh hello Allora is everything ok?"

"No my ankle is throbbing."

She lied and pretended to flinch.

He looked worried and walked over. She lifted up my leg and he probed the ankle. She made a soft sound and he unlaced my boot.

"It does look a bit swollen."

He moved off and picked up a bottle with white cream.

He rubbed it on my ankle and the ankle went icy cold.

"There better?"

She made my head nod.

Her eyes looked at his lips and he cleared his throat.

"Um be right back."

He walked off.

She pouted when he came back dressed.

He smiled

"Well I need to get back to the clinic."

He walked out of the room.

She groaned frustrated.

'I know he wants you but he holds back why?' I laughed_A. he does not want me and B, he is my friend._She laughed.

"Silly girl I'll prove it." She walked back out there and up behind him. He was sitting in a chair going over some notes. She leaned on his back and over his shoulder."Anything fascinating?"

She teased."Nah boring stuff, need something Allora?"

I heard a low laugh come out of me."Yeah you." She kissed the back of his neck and he spun so fast in his chairI swear he gave him self-whiplash."Huh? What are you doing?" She slid into his lap and I felt him stiffen. I tried fighting her.

_Stop this_

I hissed at her. _No watch_

She ran my hands up his chest. I felt the heat from his skin and his heart rate increase."Tell me not to kiss you and I won't Bones." His eyes widen and he took a deep breath."Allora what on God's green earth are you doing?""Seducing you."

She leaned over and kissed his lips with stiffened then slowly he responded. His hands trailed up my back and I felt them on my bare skin. He began to return the kiss with a gentle slight passion. I was stunned. What the heck was he doing? We were friends right? I have to admit it was a very enjoyable kiss. I felt his soft hair under my fingers and she shifted on him. I felt him began to awake under me and flushed internally.

Then the doors opened to Med-Bay and I felt McCoy stiffen as the voice rang out."Bad time Doctor?" _Spock ooooohhhhhhhh crrap._ She laughed in my head

_I hate you._

I told her_._

_I so very much hate you._

She turned and the look on Spock's face was cold. She got up and leaned on the desk."Well if it isn't the cold Vulcan." I hissed in my head_STOP THAT._

She flinched at my scream and Spock watched with an intent look. McCoy stood utterly confused to what was going on. He was embarrassed at my kiss and Spock walking in on us. He was stunned at the words coming out of my mouth."Who are you?"

Spock's voice was calm. I stayed quiet stunned. She did not."Why, whatever do you mean Spock?" McCoy looked at Spock." What are you doing Spock?"Spock spoke calmly."That may be the Lieutenant's body but that is not her mind." The entity gasped stunned. Then she sighed. "Vulcan's always taking the fun out of everything."

She leaned back and grinned.

"I am Laurana I was born 200 years ago and discovered a way to transport my essence, but that is neither here nor there. I like this body and plan on staying in her for a good while.""Why shouldn't I kill you?"

Spock said jumped startled, he moved his body in front of mine."My God Spock are you mad?" She looked at him and could not tell if Spock was serious or not.

"Because Allora is still here with me. Alive and functioning kill me and you murder her." Spock crossed his arms behind his back. "Prove it?"She smiled. "If I let her talk I know you will be able to sense it is her through your bond with her."

_Do not do anything stupid. Say something fast, try anything and I'll blow up the ship._

I agreed with her in my head. She stepped close to Spock and laid my hand on his face. She then released me temporally and I spoke at the same time as I thought."It is me Commander, she was put in me by the old woman. Never the less I am alive"

But my thought was _Smash the necklace she is connected to it._She regained control of me and looked at him."Satisfied?"He looked at her in a menacing way she shrunk back."Spock."

McCoy's voice sounded scared.

"Please do not do anything to make her hurt Allora."I felt Spock's voice in my head. _Forgive me_

He smacked me hard, then as I reeled from that, he nerve pinched me before she could respond. As I slid into darkness I felt him rip the necklace off.


	16. Chapter 16

I came though with a throbbing in my face. My eyes blinked and I saw a worried McCoy and a stony faced Spock. "Where is she?"

I whispered. Spock's voice was soft

"Gone I destroyed the necklace, there was a loud shriek and she was gone." I nodded at Spock's words and then turned my back to him. I was ashamed of my self. He got up and left. I stayed there for a while and finally I turned. McCoy was watching me. "I am so sorry Bones, so very sorry. I could not stop her." Tears of shame rolled down my face. He sat down and gathered me in his arms. "Shh it is ok it is ok Allora, you did nothing wrong. Shame it took you being controlled to kiss me though."

He teased me and I laughed. I hugged him and then gave him a very soft warm kiss on the cheek. "It would be so much easier if you and I were meant to be together Bones."

I said truthfully. He looked at me and cupped my face. His lips brushed against mine once then again and he pulled back. "I know, but there is a certain Vulcan out there mad at what he had to do to save you. Allora. I know he hit you but it was the only way. Give him a break." I hugged McCoy as tight as I could. "I do love you McCoy just not in that way." He laughed sadly. "I know feisty one I know."I stood and walked out. I found Spock in the observation room and walked up behind him. He knew I was there but said nothing. I stood next to him and he continued to watch the stars. Finally he spoke. "I did not want to hit you." I moved slightly and put my arm against his. I felt the tension in him drain a bit at my action."I know Spock you had to distract her enough so she did not see the nerve pinch. I am not mad at you." We stood there for a while and then he turned his head and said very softly. "You love McCoy." My stomach clinched. "I almost died a long time ago. It was McCoy that saved me when I wanted to let go. So yes I love him and I wished not too long ago it was the way a woman should love a man, but it is not." "Are you sure?"

His voice was seemingly calm. I could not lie. "Mostly sure."

I looked up at him and touched his face.

"I am sorry for her actions. How did you know she was not me?" "She was brass and cold. She only wanted men for the thrill and cared nothing for what was inside them. Even when you're angry or mad you are still warm and caring. It is like a light that glows in you. I find it.."

He paused looking for the right word.

"beautiful." I couldn't help it I sniffled and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Spock." We both turned and stood there watching the star pass content with just being next to each other.

The next morning,I woke up groggy and to the sound of beeping.

"Hello?"

Kirk's cheerful voice filled my room.

"Morning sunshine."

I knew he said that just to irk me

"Kirk is this is not important, I will hurt you."

I growled very tired. There had been a emergency last night in med bay and I had now only.. I looked that the time. WHAT? Barely two hours of sleep? Oh I was so going to kill him painfully. I smiled as the thoughts filled my head.

His voice went serious.

"We have a distress call from a planet and we need your help."

I heard my self-whimper.

"You owe me Kirk. I am walking out just like this and no remarks or you die."

I heard his laughter as he signed off. I slipped on jeans and a shirt that was falling of one shoulder. I did not care, I was so tired the world spun. I clipped up my hair and limped to the turbo lift.

Uhura was there and made a sympathetic noise.

"Sorry Allora, this is a odd one."

I grunted trying to keep my head from rolling off. The doors open and I glared at the perky Kirk. He laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall down. My eyes promise retribution. I walked over to a seat near Spock, since all where they where all there anyway. I slipped down into the chair. My eyes flutter close and I waited.

"Coffee?"

Sulu's voice spoke near my ear.

I sighed.

"I love you Sulu."

He turned beat red and handed it too me.

I sipped it and cracked one, eye open.

"Speak Kirk before I pass out."

He laughed and played the message. My other eye opened.

"That is the Pilargan people. Asking for our help."

He waited

"Although I say give it to them, I also be weary, they are always looking for weak species to exploit and steal from."

Kirk nodded and changed course to head to the damaged ship. I place the coffee down and my eyes drifted shut. I felt hands place me more comfortable in the chair and then a warm cloth cover me. It smelled faintly of Spock. I finally came too after very odd dreams and stretched. I blinked and opened my eyes. Spock was bent over the scanner at his desk and I looked at the time. I had been a sleep for three hours. The cloth covering me was Spock's Vulcan cloak. I sat up making sure it did not fall. I stood and groaned as my back twinged in pain.

Spock looked up.

"Welcome back Lieutenant."

I nodded and noticed we where not moving.

"Are we there already?"

"Indeed, the ship was badly damaged. We just arrived at the planet ten minutes ago after we tractor beamed the ship behind us."

His voice always seemed to calm me.

I smiled at him.

"Thank you Commander."

I held out his cloak to him.

"Thank you for this."

He nodded and took the cloak, our hands brushed and I fought turning red. I turned and exited to find food and take a bath. I found food at the recreation room. I sat and ate slowly ignoring my complaining back. I reached out and felt the Pilargan's emotions. Still greedy and chaotic as always. Although, they where greedy they where also cowards. If they saw you where even technology wise with them or stronger they tucked tails and ran.

I finished my food and felt the urge to play. I stood and walked over to the piano and began to play the keys. The cool ivories felt good under my fingers. I lost my self in the music as I song a song about haunting love and sadness. My friend Susan had wrote it after her fiancée had been killed in a fire. I let it flow through me as I thought about how to handle today. As the song ended I felt I had company. My eyes opened and I saw Kirk, Spock and McCoy. I swear those three travel in a pack. I stopped and covered the keys. I felt my cheeks burn and spoke.

"Yes?" My voice was cool to hide my embarrassment. McCoy looked at me with knowing eyes. He had heard me sing when I was healing. It had helped dull the pain.

Kirk leaned back.

"We will need your help."

I bowed and stood as gracefully as I could.

"I'll clean up and dress."

He and Spock moved back so I could walk to the door. Spock spoke as I was leaving.

"That was fascinating did you write it?"

I shook my head and my voice hinted at pain.

"No a friend did in memory of a lost love."

I looked in his eyes then I walked off to my room.


	17. Chapter 17

Once at my room I let very hot water slam into me. I cleaned up fast and dressed in my dress uniform. It was a creamy white, with gold trimmings. I have to say this; it did bring color to my skin, which I liked. I did my hair in an intricate braid and left. I headed to the transporter room and into it.

Kirk, McCoy and Spock, where all there in their dress uniform as well. I had to fight not to drool at the sight of them. As much as Kirk annoyed me, he was still a good-looking man in his prime. Heck they all where, and right now they where making my skin feel too tight. I almost laughed at my silliness.

I walked up there next to them and Kirk whistled.

I laughed.

"Oh shut up. Scotty energizes us, before I knock some sense into him. And tell Anna I need that report tonight."

I really didn't I just wanted to see him blush, which he did. My laughter rang out in the room as he beamed us down.

A haze filled my vision and as it cleared, I saw blue smoke. I coughed and my lungs burned. McCoy had his tricorder out and was scanning it. He gave Kirk, himself and me a shot.

Spock declined.

"I saw it before we finished beaming in and did not breathe it in."

McCoy nodded and we walked off the station we had beamed onto. There where a almost grayish looking race of men standing there. They where short and very lean.

"Welcome Pilargania, thank you for you help."

His voice was thrill and sickly sweet.

I bit back a retort and followed the Captains lead. We where lead into an extravagant building and then to a lavish room where food was being placed on a huge table.

"In honor of you helping us."

They sat and we joined them.

The next two hours had me grinding my teeth as they tried everything they could to pull information out of Kirk and Spock. Kirk, brushed off most but I noticed Spock acting odd and begin to worry. Brainna leaned over to ask him something. She was pretty for a Pilargan and he turned to her.

"So Commander Spock, is the planet Earth guarded well?"

I had to fight a gasp. But what happen next stunned me more.

Spock spoke.

"Indeed it has…"

He broke off as I grabbed his arm.

"Spock"

I almost hissed his name. He jerked as if coming out of something. His confused face looked at me and then he straightened.

"Forgive me I need some air."

He stood and walked outside.

I turned and looked at the now pouting Brainna, my eyes where ice cold.

She flinched under my stare and I heard her thoughts.

_I'll just get the Captain_

I looked of acting like I had not heard her thought. But I mad sure I was near Kirk the rest of the night. We all turned in and I spent a night filled with nightmares. The next morning one of them woke me stating that Kirk needed my help. I nodded and dressed. I walked out side and to where the Pilargan had told me Kirk was. As I walked closer to the site, my inner voice screamed in my head. Something under my foot gave way and out of instinct I shielded the best I could. I heard the thoughts of the Pilargan's around me as excruciating pain filled my whole body and I lost consciousness.

It seemed like days till I woke, but more likely just hours. This had not been an accident. I knew the Pilargan's had done this on purpose after hearing their thoughts. They had saw how Spock was able to center when I was there and wanted me dead. I now knew Spock was the prize not Kirk. If they could corrupt Spock they would have proved to their leader the Federation was nothing but a toy to be used. I moved ever so slowly conscious of my wounds. I had to get to my crew. My reached out and found McCoy's mind. I knew that under the brainwash potion they had sprayed at us when we beamed down. I would not be able to find Spock's. Hours passed as I made my way, then I heard voices

I came out of the wooded area and saw my crew. I almost cried out with joy. I stood there looking at them. I felt the tension rolling of Bones and Kirk. Uhura was frantically looking for a way to undo what the Pilargan's had done to Spock.

"Join me Kirk, and Bones."

Spock pleaded.

"I am happy."

He had human emotion on his handsome face

Kirk looked frantic.

"Spock listen to me, they have done something to you. You're not yourself."

Spock shook his head.

"No Captain I am finally free and at peace."

Are you?"

I spoke as I stepped out of the shadows.

The Pilargan's hissed in anger at me being here. They thought they had killed me, I had more surprises in store for them. I walked forward and saw the relief on my crew's face.

"Allora.."

McCoy gasp out.

He looked at my wounds and the blood staining my uniform. I held out my hand silencing him.

"Are you happy Spock?"

His eyes went confused and widen as I walked closer.

"Kirk, McCoy and Uhura please leave. I need to talk to him alone."

"Allora he is not.."

McCoy began.

I interrupted him.

"Yes I know trust me."

They looked at me worried but did as I asked trusting me. I walked to Spock till I was close enough to touch him.

The Pilargan's hissed again.

"Leave him alone he is at peace."

"No."

I whispered

"He is not. I know Spock you do not."

I looked up at this man I cared so much about.

"Are you happy Spock?"

I laid my hand on his chest needing his warmth as my shivered from the blood loss.

"Yes."

But he no longer seemed sure.

"Then if you no longer want to serve with us and are happy abandoning us then I shall leave you be."

I turned to leave and then stopped. I turned back around and walked to him. I cupped his face and did something I had never done before. Before they could say anything. I pressed a soft almost whisper kiss on Spock's lips. I had kissed before. This was nothing like it. I almost felt as if a piece of me became his. I felt him breathe in hard at shock.

I stepped back slowly and he leaned forward trying not to break contact with my lips.

"Good bye Spock."

Tears rolled down my face as I turned and started to leave.

Spock shook behind me then called out.

"NO."

He moved so fast I that had no time to react. His hand grabbed my arm and spun me around very hard. He yanked me too him and his fingers buried into my hair. I felt ever inch off his body against his. Pain was whispering around the edges of my body. Then very slowly his lips lowered to mine. His arms where locked hard around me. I did not fight him. I let my body sink into his larger one despite the pain of the wounds. Finally I leaned back. His eyes looked at me and I saw my Spock coming back into his eyes. His hands gripped me hard then they slowly relaxed.

He shook his head.

"Amazing Lieutenant you never cease to amaze me."

I laughed.

"I know."

He leaned down and gave me another kiss but this one was very brief and edged with emotion that neither one of us had the courage to speak.

I pulled back very slowly.

"Coming back with me Commander?"

"Indeed."

I looked at the Pilargan's

"You will not bother the Federation again."

My voice was ice cold they knew they had failed and the wrath, if they attempted again, from their leader would be ugly. I flipped open my com

"Enterprise two to beam up."


	18. Chapter 18

A haze surrounded my vision and when it cleared we were on the ship. Kirk and McCoy relaxed at seeing Spock with me. I took a step and sunk towards the floor. Spock's arm held me. The wound in my back was burning badly, my uniform was torn and blood, my blood was staining Spock uniform and skin.

Spock helped me up as McCoy scanned my wounds.

"Stubborn blasted woman."

He muttered at he had Spock pick me up and carry me to the Med-Bay.

As Spock laid me gently down on the bed, McCoy hovered around, he raised the healing band and began to heal my wounds. I closed my eyes as the pain ebbed. I felt two fingers run up and down my pointer and middle fingers. I turned and looked at Spock. I watched him repeat the movement. I sucked in a deep breath at his action. This was how Vulcan's truly kissed. It was the a deep and intimate act that signified deep caring.

Suddenly McCoy pushed through us trying to get the blood to stop coming from me. My hand contact with Spock was broken.

"Sorry Spock, darn it Allora. We thought you where safe. They lied to us, well of course they did." McCoy muttered as he healed me

Spock stayed there the entire McCoy healed me. I felt sleep claiming me and as I drifted off to sleep my eyes stayed on Spock as long as I could, then dreams over took me. Some time later I felt my body lifted and carried to my room.

My alarm woke me up and I sighed."Computer turn it off before I smash it.""Comply."

Came the cool female computerized voice. The alarm ended and I rolled over with a groan. My body was still sore from the abuse I suffered at the Pilargan's hands. Due to the difference in my biology it was sometimes hard for McCoy to heal me all the way. I stood and walked to the refresher. The face in the mirror was still bruised and so was the area around my ribs and under my right breast. I shook my head disgusted and took a quick shower.I was just dressing when my door chimed. "Enter."

I called out. Spock walked in looking clean and ready for the day. Blasted Vulcan, I looked like crap and he didn't even have a scratch. "Morning, Lieutenant, feeling well this morning?"

His voice held a tight edge to it. My eyes traveled to his and I noticed him looking at the bruises. Something almost close to anger seemed to be in his tone. This confused me. My hand went to the bruising to hide it, not liking the fact they bother him.

His hand stilled mine. "I am sorry, about them."

His voice was soft."They are not your fault."

I told him honestly. "Aren't they? They hurt you because of our bond, and I was to blind to see what they where doing."

He seemed bothered and my heart thumped hard."Spock,"

I began softly.

"They where using you. It would have been no different had it been the Captain, except he would have betrayed us. He does not have your mental strength. No species is perfect not even Vulcan's. Though you come irritatingly close."

I full lips formed a smile and I looked at them, my mind played the kiss we shared and I quickly looked off. "I think of it too Allora."

His voice was deeper now and I felt heat rush through me.I turned back to him. "This is unbalancing Spock."His head moved closer to mine. "I know it is for you." He pressed his forehead to mine and I touched his face. My fingers traced his cheeks and then his ears. He made a sound and I pulled back. My face turned bright red and I stepped back."I am hungry Spock, join me for breakfast?" He nodded and I noticed a stiffness to him, it worried me. We walked to the dinning room and it was crowded. Anna looked up and I noticed Scotty was sitting next to her again. I smiled and walked near her."Good morning Anna how are you?"She gave a soft grin and looked at Scotty shyly. "I am well and you?"I laughed. "Not as good as you it seems."Scotty's face matched the color of his uniform and I walked off laughing. "That was not nice."

Spock's voice spoke in my ear. "Not but it was fun."

I winked at him and grabbed some fruit. We both sat down. He was drinking some green looking drink and it smelled almost like seaweed. I smirked and nibbled on my fruit as I read my data notes. It felt odd to sit here with him, as we did normal things. Normal is not a word I associated with Spock, or even the Enterprise as a whole. I felt a tap on my shoulder and a baby faced Ensign by the name of Brain was smiling at me. I stood and smiled kindly at him. Now truth be told Brain had a crush on me. I was flattered how could I not be? He had dark black hair and startling blue eyes. As well as a very sexy Celtic accent. But he was nineteen way to young and then there was Spock. "Good Morning Brain. How are you?"

I asked kindly "I am well and ye?"

His voice was warm. "I am hungry."

I looked at my fruit and he laughed. He then sat down on the other side of me with his food of eggs and bacon. I sighed.

"Not fair. I look at that stuff and I gain weight."

My voice was 's eyes looked at my figure and I blushed red."Ye look fine to me."Spock spoke up."That is not appropriate Ensign."Brain blushed and I looked at Spock. My foot hit his shin and his whiskey eyes flickered to me. He raised his eyebrow amused.

"Having trouble with a muscle spasms Lieutenant?"I groaned, Spock would hear from me later. I turned to the poor Ensign."You have to forgive Spock. Logic is a Vulcan fault, they have no humor."I heard Spock snort into his drink. I fought a smile at his actions and fluttered my eyelashes at Brain just to irritate the Vulcan. Spock's voice echoed in my head. _Are you being a .. to borrow McCoy's word.. brat Allora?_

I bit my lip hard so I would not laugh. Spock stood and bowed."I am needed at the bridge. "

But once again his voice seemed strained. As did his movements. I could not help but wonder what was going on behind that sardonic look he always wore. I watched him leave looking worried."Allora are you ok?"

Brain's voice jerked me out of my deep thought."Yes I am sorry. Spock is one of a kind."

I shook my head and Brain nodded utterly confused. Anna joined us after Scotty left. We all talked about a game that was coming on. Brain was big into something called Soccer. I found it boring, but listened to be polite. I read over my data pad as they chatted. Brain stood and left after finishing his meal. I placed down my pad and looked at Anna."You are looking quite serious about Scotty."

My voice was looked at her hands."What is love?"I blinked and leaned back."There are many forms of love Anna you know this. There is friendship love, family love and then there is mate love. If you're asking me the difference?"

At her nod I thought on it."Well I love my mother in a way that binds me too her, but it does not complete me. That is family love, I believe. I love you in a way that makes me want you to be a part of my life, but I do not desire you. That is friendship love I believe. As for the other? It is so very complicated Anna." My face went sad and I thought of McCoy and then Spock. Spock was not what I had pictured my self with, but could I really picture my self with out him?"It is almost as if, the need to be with them at times is almost as strong as the need to breathe. Like when they are not around, a piece of you is missing. Then when they are around you finally feel complete. Does that make sense?"

My voice was very soft."Yes it does."

Anna stood and hugged me tight. We both headed to the turbo lift and I went to the bridge.


	19. Chapter 19

I walked onto the bridge and nodded to Ensign Tranence as he walked by. He stopped and chatted to me. He had gone out last night with his buddy to the holo deck and they had tried out the pirate program. I laughed when he told me how he had fallen off into the cold water.

"No sea legs huh?"

I teased him

"Ensign don't you have something to do?"

Spock's voice interrupted.

Tranence looked at him, as did I.

"Of course Commander."

He left looking baffled.

I tilled to my head to the side.

"Did I miss something Commander Spock?"

I asked coolly.

"You should not flirt with him he takes it seriously."

His voice was calm but something lurked under it.

My mouth dropped open, what the heck? My eyes flickered to Uhura and she looked equally stunned.

"I was not flirting Commander."

My voice was ice cold.

This was not like Spock. Although we had kissed that day he had been brain washed. He had been respectful to my need to take this slow. He seemed almost agitated and jealous at this time. Not like himself. I nodded my head at him and walked off before this got out of hand. I walked up to Kirk and gave him report on the Lieutenant who had been reprimanded for her behavior the other day.

Kirk looked up and smiled warmly at me. He took the report and read over it.

"So a hormonal imbalance?" He said softly.

I nodded and leaned in closer so the others did not hear me.

"Her species hits sexual maturity around this time, please excuse her behavior Captain. I had McCoy give her something and she is more her self, well besides being very embarrassed over her outburst."

I grinned feeling bad for the Lieutenant.

Kirk chuckled softly and nodded,

"Of course, thank you for the report."

I nodded and leaned back.

I felt eyes on me and looked up. Spock was watching us and he did not look happy. What was that blasted Vulcan's problem today? He was acting completely out of character for himself. I raised my eyebrow at him and went about my daily work. I slid into my side space on the bridge and went over the reports of the people on the ship. I made mental notes to talk to certain crewmembers after reading the end of the day report made by others.

Lieutenant Jameson popped up again on my screen. I took a deep breath. He was becoming a problem. He had showed such promise at the Academy but he was having trouble with his temper and his ability to work respectively with woman. This was not acceptable. I did not like talking to him; he made all my red lights go off.

A voice spoke off to my side.

"What is it? You look almost scared?"

I looked up at McCoy.

"Jameson again, he bothers me."

McCoy nodded looking worried.

"You're not the only one, something is off with that young man. Like a shimmering pot, he seems always on the verge of exploding."

He spoke softly but I heard his tone. I leaned back rubbing my temples, whenever I talked to Jameson it almost made me feel sick. This was something new to me and it bothered me.

I stood, and collected my self.

"I have to go talk to him again."

McCoy stopped me.

"Not alone he has been worse then normal."

I felt Spock walk up to us.

"I conquer, there is a almost visible aura of rage around that man."

Spock sounded more like him self now calm and emotionally control, so I nodded agreeing.

"Would one of you come with me?"

My eyes pleaded with McCoy.

McCoy looked at his data pad and frowned.

"I can't Lieutenant Marsa is in Labor and her contractions are too close."

I grinned happy for Laura.

"Oh you will let me know when her daughter graces us right?"

My voice was warm with love.

McCoy smiled and laughed.

"What is it about woman and new born babies?"

I laughed with him.

"Oh stop being a brat and just say yes."

McCoy nodded and walked off.

"I'll come with you."

Spock's words snapped me back into place.

I felt a knot build at the base of my skull.

"Thank you Commander."

He nodded and we left.

I felt my stomach twist further and further as we walked to my office.

"Breathe Lieutenant your have no color in your face."

I stopped and took in a deep breath.

"I am being illogical forgive me Commander."

He looked at my face and looked around. Seeing we where alone, he touched my face.

"Not illogical just frighten, but there is something about Jameson that bothers all the women on this ship not just you. Do not let him see you are bothered by him."

His voice and touched centered me.

I relaxed and stepped back as a door somewhere opened. We continued the walk to my office now silent. The door opened and Jameson sat there looking irritated.

When he saw me he stood in an angry movement.

"Why am I here?"

His voice was hostile.

"You will watch your tone and act respectively to Lieutenant Commander Brighten

Spock's voice held a warning to the hostile young man. Jameson backed off.

"Sit down."

My voice was cold at Jameson behavior to me. Spock stood off the side almost in the shadows. I walked to my desk and sat down

"Lieutenant Jameson this has got to stop. You behavior yesterday's was horrible. It seems to me that you have a problem with women being in charge over you. Why is this?"

"I do not trust anything that bleeds for several days and does not die."

I gasped out loud at such a crude and nasty statement.

"You will not talk to me in such a way do I make my self clear?"

My voice got even colder. I stood and looked at the man.

"I am recommending you be put back to ensign until you learn to respect women. I will not have you in a place of command until you earn it."

He let out a low hiss and stood in front of me.

"NO I earned that title."

My cold eyes looked at him.

"Not from where I am standing Jameson. You are rude and disrespectful. You have a temper and this is not acceptable. Until you learn to fix these problems you will be a Ensign."

When I looked off to grab my pad he hit me hard in my face. I flew back with a gasp and slammed against the wall, I saw stars. Before I could react Spock had him pinned against the wall with his hand around Jameson's throat. I did not move for a second stunned at both men's actions. As the ringing in my head stopped I stood.

I raised a shaky hand to the wound on my face.

"Commander let him go."

A low growl rumbled out of Spock. My mouth dropped open. Had Spock just growled?

"Spock?"

My voice was now soft and gentle.

I touched his shoulder rubbing it slightly and felt him shudder. He very slowly released Jameson and stepped back, but moved so he was in front of me blocking Jameson from me. I felt him fighting back his rage.

"Security to my office now."

My voice shook and Jameson's eyes were wide as he watched Spock.

Security came in and I had them take Jameson to the holding cells. When they where gone I looked at Spock, who seemed more in control, but still angry.

"Spock what happened?"

"He hit you."

I grinned at his deadpan words then hissed in pain. He stepped close to me and tilted up my head. His eyes flashed at the bruising I am sure was blooming on my face. His finger rubbed the blood running from the cut on my lip. I took a deep breath and went to leave.

"Where are you going?"

He said in a very controlled voice

"To Med-Bay, Spock, my face is throbbing."

I walked off with him close behind me.


	20. Chapter 20

My mind was whirling with what had happened. Jameson and followed by Spock's very odd behavior. When the Med doors opened, I was fighting for control. McCoy looked up with a smile till my face came into light. His face went hard and anger flashed in his eyes.

"What the heck happened?"

He grabbed his instruments.

"Don't ask just make it stop hurting please."

I sat down hard.

McCoy looked at Spock and then back at me. He ran his scanner over my face and the throbbing stopped.

The doors opened again and Kirk came in looking upset.

"What the hell happened?"

I wanted to disappear. I was tired and starting to shake. The adrenaline was gone and I was not up for this. I spoke in an empty voice telling what had happened. Kirk and McCoy, both looked at Spock stunned when I described his actions. Although Kirk might have done the same thing, this behavior was not like Spock. Spock stood silently by me not saying a thing.

Kirk ran a hand over his face thinking.

"Jameson will say in the holding cell till we pass by Tersana IV there is a Star Base there. Then he shall be removed from my ship to face a court-martial for his actions."

He then looked at Spock.

"Although I may have done the same Spock this behavior is not like you. You have seemed on edge lately. Spock what is going on?"

A deep sound resounded from Spock.

"Pon Farr, it would seem Captain."

Kirk's face went confused.

"Pon Furr? What is that." Kirk slightly mispronounced it.

"Pon Farr Captain." Then Spock made the longest speech I have ever heard him make.

"There comes a point in a Vulcan's life when that veneer of rationalism is stripped away, and a primal force takes over. Every seven years the adult Vulcan male must endure a time when his logic is ripped from him, when a lifetime of suppressed emotion erupts to the surface. It is the Pon Farr, the time of mating. Pon Farr is an ancient drive that impels us to return home to take a mate, or die. It is seen as a deeply personal experience. Few outworlders know of its existence. We do not usually speak of it even among themselves. Pon Farr brings with it a neuro chemical imbalance that leads to erratic behavior in the us - nervousness, sleeplessness, outbursts of anger and violence... We can even become unaware of our actions. It's as if huge amounts of adrenaline are pumped into our bloodstream at once, and if nothing is done about it, the physical and emotional pressures will simply kill us.

It culminates in a condition known as Plak tow, or blood fever, where the male is overwhelmed with emotion and unable to think about anything else but satisfying his biological imperative. This state must be followed to its natural resolution. And there are only three known ways to do that. Taking a mate, the ritual combat and intensive, private meditation. Meditation is only attempted as a final resort, under circumstances where the pursuit of the other options is impossible. Achieving psychological resolution through meditation and thus correcting the chemical imbalance requires a degree of discipline that is extraordinary, even for us. But such attempts are rarely successful and most often merely defer the inevitable. The preferable response to Pon Farr is to fulfil the impulse, as nature demands."

He broke off.

His voice had been calm and detached as if he was giving a report on the ships engine. McCoy and Kirk looked at him stunned. I kept my face lowered still shaking

"Well wow Spock, so what now? Your home-world is gone. We can't take you there. We could replicate it on the holo deck? But that still means you either need to umm"

McCoy's cheeks turned red as his eyes flickered to me

"Mate or fight."

I felt Spock's eyes flicker to me while he spoke.

"I do not think fighting will work, because the fight it is very violent and normally ends only when one of the fighters is. I am stronger and faster then anyone on this ship. Vulcan's rarely ever fight because of this."

Kirk grinned.

"Well then we just have to find you a.." He broke off looking at me and rethinking his words. There was an uncomfortable silence in the Med-Bay. I stood slowly and swayed. McCoy steadied me. I pulled back and smoothed out my uniform.

"Lieutenant."

Spock began and I held out my hand silencing him.

I took a cleansing breath. I looked at him and saw something I had never seen before. He looked almost vulnerable.

"I need to think it has been a bad day."

My eyes pleaded with Spock to understand

I nodded to Kirk and McCoy. I then left quickly.

I walked till I found my self in front of the holo room. I checked to see if it was empty. Finding it was, I pushed in some codes. The door opened to the smell of lavender and Plalora roses. I felt the knot at the base of my skull loosen. I walked into the holo and took in the garden around my house. I missed this place of peace. I know I had made the right decision coming here, but yet at times this place called me. I sat down on my swing chair and tilled my face to the sunlight. The door opened and Anna walked over.

She sat down and looked at me quietly.

"I thought you would be with Scotty?"

If android's could blush, she would of.

"I heard what happened are you ok Allora."

I looked at her and shook my head.

"No Anna I am not."

She slipped her arms around me and I gave into the sobs building in me.

"Jameson brought back horrible memories. Spock is hurting and I may be the only one who can help him and I am being a coward."

I gasp out through my sobs. Anna stroked my hair in the way my mom used to when I was a little girl.

"Not a coward just a owner of a scarred heart. My dear one, do you care about Spock?"

I looked up at her.

"Yes more then I want to, but it is not that simple. Sometimes deep inside, I feel Spock wishes he was not attracted to me, that he wishes I was a Vulcan."

My voice was heavy with pain as I told Anna what I had told no other. She smoothed my hair off my cheek. She was acting like my mother and any other time I would have stopped it, but right now I was raw.

"Have you talked to him about this?"

I looked off and shook my head.

"Don't you think you should?"

I blushed and shook my head. How could one bring up such a personal conversation? I leaned up and took a deep breath. I looked at my com and knew I was needed back at the bridge as we where nearing the planet to drop off Jameson.

I walked to the house and cleaned up my face. I quickly combed my hair and clipped it up. I looked at my face and my haunted violet eyes looked back at me there was still a whisper of a bruise on my face as Kirk coming had interrupted McCoy's actions. I took a hard breath and left the holo. The entire ride up the turbo lift I force my emotions deeper and deeper under, till I felt calm. The door opened and the main crew looked at me. I kept my back straight and did not look at any of them. They had to have known about Jameson actions but probably not Spock's. I walked to my chair and sat.

Kirk shook his head at the man on the screen. An Admiral I did not know sat listening as Kirk spoke. I saw disgust flicker on his face as Kirk told him about Jameson attacking me.

The older man's eyes looked at me and I stood and walked to the screen.

"Lieutenant Commander Brighten? Is this the truth."

I nodded and his eyes took in the fading bruise.

I saw him control his anger and nod.

"Bring the accused to my office. Along with Captain Kirk, Commander Spock and your self."

I nodded and the screen blinked out. The three of us left the bridge and walked to the transporter room. Though nothing was said Spock walked closer to me then normal and Kirk seemed lost in thought. I stiffened when I saw Jameson there with two guards and Spock moved so that he was blocking me from Jameson. I fought the urge to lean into Spock. My hands shook and he moved closer to me. I hate being weak. I hate it. I looked straight ahead and said nothing as we were beamed down. I allowed Spock to walk close to me not wanting to even be near Jameson.

We were brought into the Admirals office and a couple other higher-ranking officers were there. The meeting was brief and Jameson was found guilty. His sentence would be picked back at Star Fleet where he was to be transferred. They took Jameson out and I let out a breath I did not know I was holding.

The Admiral looked at me.

"Are you alright Lieutenant Commander Brighten?"

I nodded feeling bare.

"Yes forgive me. I am foolishly glad he is gone."

The older man gave me a fatherly smile.

"Nothing foolish about it. I do not blame you. I hope nothing ever happens like this again to you."

I gave him a soft smile and he left the room. Kirk, Spock and I were the only ones left. I looked at them both curious as to why we had not left as well.

Kirk touched my shoulder.

"Talk to him please Allora."

I felt trapped and did not like it.

Kirk squeezed my shoulder and left the room. I looked at my hands and they were trembling.

Spock placed his hands on top of them.

"I am sorry Allora." He very rarely ever called me by my first name.

I looked up and his intense gaze held me still.

"For what Spock? You did not ask to go into Pon Farr, it is who you are. How can that be your fault?"

His other hand touched my face. I fought to breathe at the heat that always filled me at that action.

"That is not what I was apologizing for. I can feel your fear beating at me. You are afraid of both what will happen if you compile with my need and afraid of what will happen if you don't."

How could I deny his words? I couldn't lie. I placed my hand over his on my face. I stood there a moment trying to gather my thoughts and I saw his control start to slip. He dropped his hand and stepped back.

"Spock? What is it?"

"I can smell you."

I blinked at his words slightly offened.

"What? I just took a bath this morning. How can I stink?"

He almost laughed at that.

"No Allora I can smell just you. Your scent it… "

He broke off looking for the right word.

"Awakens me."

The wording confused me, but I let it go.

"Your control is slipping isn't it?"

He nodded and folded his hands behind his back tightly.

"We should get back to the ship."

I could tell he wanted to argue, but I flipped open my com.

"Two to bring back to the ship."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The haze surrounded us and I stepped of the transporter floor once we were back on the ship.

I touched his shoulder and he shuddered. I quickly let my hand drop.

"We will talk more later tonight."

He nodded stiffly and I walked out of the room.

I was lost in thought as I got on the turbo lift.

Uhura's voice startled me.

"Are you ok Lieutenant?"

I took a deep breath and a slight leap of faith.

"No, will you accompany me to lunch?"

She smiled and we went to the dining hall.

We sat at the table near the window and I looked out at the fading planet as the server brought our meals.

"Talk to me."

I put down my sandwich and looked at her.

"When I was fourteen. I meant a young man named Harlen. He seemed so very sweet and kind. I was studying hard to master certain powers from my fathers blood and his attention was a welcome distraction. I grew to trust him and after a couple months I told him who I was. He asked me to meet him somewhere that night and I readily agreed."

I took a calming breath and Uhura stayed silent.

"I dressed nicely and slipped out of my mother's house. He was waiting for me. We talked and after a while he asked me how another could obtain my powers. I was confused, my powers where from my DNA you could only get them by being my species I told him this. He then changed from the kind, charming boy I knew to a horrible raging person. He called me a lying tramp and began to beat me, demanding I give them to him. He ranted something about, stop denying him as all my people had done before. I had no clue to what he was talking about. Over and over he hit me and slashed at my skin. I was screaming and finally as I was losing conscious I felt him ripped off me."

My voice was so empty despite the pure pain throbbing through me

"Pike and another very young man I did not know then was there. The young man gave Harlen a shot and he slipped to the ground out of it. Pike picked me up and the young man followed, as two other men took Harlen away. For weeks my body was racked with fevers and I was basically dying. My mother, Pike and the young man hardly ever left my bedside. The young man refused to let me die although at the time I wanted to."

My hand traced the scar on my neck and Uhura watched the action, but my eyes were unseeing as I relived the past.

"My hair was a deep brown at one time but the fevers for some odd reason turned it this color. I would slip in and out of conscious. When unconscious I dreamed beautiful dreams of a peaceful world with an old species. They whispered for me to live and carry on for them. When I was awake the young man was there stroking my hair off my face and telling me to be strong. Eventually I healed and grew stronger. This scar never left me and my hair stayed this color."

I held my glass with shaky hands.

Uhura spoke in a hushed voice.

"The young man was Dr. McCoy wasn't it?"

I nodded.

"He saved my life, but I have never forgotten that night. I have never let a man close to me since then."

My hands tightened painfully around the glass.

"So Spock?"

She left the question hanging.

"Is the first man to ever get close to me. I am lost in this Uhura. I do not wish to hurt him, but my kind mate for life. There is no such thing as divorce, we blood bond, it is the only way."

Uhura took a deep breath and we were both silent for a while.

Finally she stood amd hugged me

"I have to get back to the Bridge, but Allora? Spock is the most honorable man I have ever known. He does not say or do things without thought and he always means them. I have never seen he act or behavior towards anyone the way he does you. He gets this certain look on his face when you enter the room. Very un-Vulcan like."

She grinned and I smiled back unable to stop the action. Uhura has the warmest engaging smile I have ever known another to have. She walked off as I thought on her words.

Slowly I stood and walked to the turbo lift. I waited and it took me to the bridge. I stood there outside the doors and out of the way. I watched Spock as he moved about with a Lieutenant working on something. He seemed intent as he focused on the problem. Something in my heart shifted. As I watched the handsome elegant Vulcan it hit me. I was in love with him. Oh man, I leaned back on the wall and took a long hard breath. What was I going to do?

I opened my eyes and noticed Spock was watching me with an odd expression. Oh God had he heard my thoughts? Please of all times let him of not heard them. I gave a false smile to him and walked my chair. I had to decide what to say and do tonight.

I prayed the hours would drag but they did not; soon enough I felt a touch on my shoulder and looked up a Lisa. She was the one who took over my station when my shift was over.

I stood and gave her a kind smile. I looked around and saw the rest of the main crew being relieved as well. I stepped to the turbo lift and Spock filed in next to me, not saying a word. His body seemed rigid and I knew it was getting worse for him. His hands where locked behind his body so tightly he was cutting of the blood circulation to his fingers. Uhura, Spock and I where the last on the lift and she was trying not to watch us but I could tell she was worried. The door opened to our deck and we got off. I stopped at Uhura's door and hugged her. "Thank you for listening." She nodded at me but I could tell she was upset. I walked to my door with the rigid Spock next to me. "Let me clean up and I'll come meet you at your quarters."

He stepped forward and he leaned down. He seemed to shiver as he took a deep breath against my neck. My body tightened and I tried to backed up from him, but the wall was right behind me.

"Promise?"

He whispered against my skin. Dazed I nodded and he leaned back. He slowly walked off. I entered my room and slipped out of my uniform. I cleaned my skin, still trying to work this out. What was I going to do? I slipped on a dress and some slipper shoes. I left my hair loose and walked out of my room.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

I went to Spock's quarters and my hand shook as I pushed the com button. "Enter."

I had never been in Spock's room. I think, very few had. His back was to me. He was wearing a black almost silkily looking short sleeved shirt that hugged his frame. All well as black dress pants. Without the cover of his uniform his frame seemed larger. He turned to look at me and his hair was still wet from his shower. I gave a weak smile and looked around his room. It was an interesting mix of Vulcan and older earth collections. Under normal circumstances it would be a very peaceful room. But the man standing off to the side, vibrating chaotic energy disturbed it. I walked to the chair and sat down, looking at him. "Spock, please, sit? You're tall as it is and my neck will get a crick in it." He turned in a smooth movement and walked to me. I had never thought Spock dangerous before. He was too controlled and logical, but this Spock was neither. My heart speed up at his powerful walk. My eyes trailed over his powerful frame. He brought the other chair very close to me, close enough I could smell the scent of his clean skin. I was not so sure this action was not deliberate on his part. I felt my mouth go dry and folded my hands in my lap. He took them and brought them to his lap. I felt my thoughts scatter. I struggled to retain them. "It is not that simple."

I began and then realized I was speaking without thought.

"Spock, intimacy is not something simple to my people. We do not do it just for mating heat. We only perform this action with the one we intend to be with until death claims us." He remained silent; though his body radiated such heat.

"We believe in blood bonds. Do you know what those are?" His voice when he spoke was deep, very deep. It made me shiver. "A blond bond is the exchanging of blood that ties one to another till one or the other dies. It is the deepest and most binding of acts one can do." I nodded and then furthered his explanation. "As long as both live, there will never be another, the mind would not allow it. Then, if one dies before the other, the remaining one will live feeling only half-alive; because during this time together, they hear each other's thoughts, feel what the other is feeling. They even know their other's very actions without even being there to see them. Two technically become one."

I paused letting him absorb this. "If you're trying to push me away by your words your are failing. I already hear most your thought and sense most your emotions. You are already a part of me in a way Allora." Anger built in me. I stood in a rushed motion pulling my hands from his grip. "Don't you get it Spock? There is no 'do over'; there is no going back. Once one is bonded, that is it. You can not regret it and then take it back."

My voice was rising a little with each word. He stood in a controlled motion and gave me no quarter. He was so close to me I could feel him. "Tell me what is really bothering you Allora."

His voice was hard with emotion. "One of your greatest scars is not being full-blooded Vulcan. How do I know one day you will not look at me with disgust, wishing you had married a full bloodied Vulcan woman and produced almost pure blooded Vulcan children?"

The words would have been cruel had they not been whispered in such a pain soaked voice. Tears rolled down my face and I felt stripped, bare. Spock's eyes widen in shock. Whatever he had been expecting me to say I could tell this was not it. His hands reached out and brought me to him hard.

His control was slipping fast I could feel his hands bruise my skin. "After my mother died I asked my father why he married her and defied the council's will. He said, because he loved her. He still does and always will. I saw then what I needed to see. What good is it to follow the so called honorable path if your heart is empty."

He looked at me and there was no space between his body and mine. He lowered his head and buried it into my neck. Shivers ran up and down my spine

"Make your decision now Allora my control is almost gone."

His voice had a growl to it and I sucked in a hard breath.

His head lifted and those hungry whiskey eyes looked deep into me. I reached up without thought to my action and traced his lips.

His lack of control dipped further. "Too late." He pushed my body hard against the wall as his lips descended to mine. I did not know one could kiss like this. I felt like he was consuming me. His hands ran over my skin almost roughly and felt a rumbling sound course though his hard frame.

I fought for a moment just so I could think and heard in my head.

_Don't; I am fighting hard not to be too rough. Please Allora._

He sounded like he was pleading with me. I made my self relax and his touch somewhat softened. His hands became caressing and his lips traveled down my neck. I sucked in a deep breath not sure what to do. "Let me taste you; that will calm me.'

His words were like seduction in my head.

His lips traveled lower and I begin to tremble. His hands slipped under my blouse and I gasped at the sensation. He gave my shoulder a hard bite and then leaned up as he slipped off my shirt. Then he undid the clasp on my bra. He took it off and looked at my now bare breast. I brought my hands up to cover my bare skin and he grabbed them in one hand and brought them above my head. He trapped them there as he looked down at my skin.

Passion had brought a green flush to his face and his eyes flickered over my breast. I felt my nipples harden at his gaze and I blushed beet red. His other arm went around my back and forced me to arch my back, I felt my breast move and I blushed more. His head dipped lower and took a nipple in to his mouth. I whimpered out at the action and felt him smile. He took the nipple deeper and sucked lightly. Heat flooded me and the whimper turned in a soft moan. "SPOCK." He swirled his tongue over the nipple and then did the same to other. I started to tremble and my hips arched onto him. He then leaned up and gave me a very male smile. I looked at him breathing hard. "You do want me, don't you?"

His voice was soft with wonderment. I gave a soft laugh stunned at the question. "Umm duh?"

He gave a dark grin and placed a bite on my neck over the vein there my pulse was pounding and I did scream this time. The act was too close to the one my people did when joining permanently. He licked at my nipple again and I shifted.

"Tease."

He gave a laughed that filled me with heat. "Not yet but I will."

This passionate Spock I was not used to.

"I told you, in not all areas are Vulcan's cold. In mating we are almost violent; only because it is the only area were we can be."

He placed another bite softly on my breast. "I feel like you are marking me Spock."

His tongue traced the bite. "I am."

He moved his mouth lower as if trying to learn all the different taste of my skin. I shivered under his touch.

"There is a pole like object above you, grab it and do not let go. Trust me I am losing what little control I have just let me continue, I do not want to hurt you."

I did as he asked and he moved to his knees.

I looked at him stunned. "Spock what are you doing?"

He moved my legs apart and blew on me.

My body arched and I stopped breathing at the pleasure. "I told you I needed to taste you."

He moved my legs apart as much as he could and ran a finger over me.

I moaned and gripped the object so hard it almost hurt. He leaned over and took me in his mouth. Nice to know speaking logic was not the only thing his mouth was talented at doing. His tongue swirl around my clit over and over. Too soon and too fast I slammed over the edge with a scream. I tried to hold on to the object but my body seemed boneless. He picked me up as I slid and placed me on the bed. I was on my stomach and he placed hard bites along my back. I at first was too weak to respond this his touch. It then became more intense and demanding. He brought my knees up exposing me to his gaze. "Fascinating."

I was too stunned to be embarrassed. He ran a finger over my nerve spot gentle at first, then rougher, until I was whimpering again. He arched and pushed himself into me. I stiffened no man had ever, ever been there. He leaned over and bit my neck over the nerve spot in my neck and I felt my body go lax, he pushed in more and hit my innocence.

He whispered two words in my head.

_My Ashaya._I did not know one of the words but the emotion behind it made tears form in my eyes. He flicked his finger over my nerve spot down there over and over till I opened up to him and he slid all the way on. What little control he had was completely gone. He griped my hips hard and his bite went deeper. I could do nothing as he slammed into me over and over. Pleasure built till it almost hurt and I screamed out, as the edge almost deafened me. I heard his shout of pleasure as he emptied into me. We both collapsed on the bed. I lied there for a while not moving. I could feel bruises on my skin and I tingled all over. Spocks' hands traced up and down my skin. I took a calming breath. "Are you ok now?" He gave a very male laugh.

"In a way, if you mean if the Pon Farr has been satisfied the answer is yes." He rolled me over and used his larger frame to partially pin me to the bed. He forced my head up and kissed me very softly. I placed my hand behind his neck and felt the soft hair on his head tickle my fingers I ran my hands through it. He made a soft sound and pulled back, hunger still on his face. "Careful, you are too untried to awaken me again."

I was still confused at his wording but a yawn escaped me. He smiled down at me. He then lay down and gathered my smaller frame to his. Within moment's I was asleep. I woke up sore and aching. Spock's body was wrapped around mine. I wiggled to move away and his grip tightened. "Were are you going?"

His voice rumbled. "The refresher silly Vulcan, now let me go."

He nodded and released me. I got up blushing and all but ran to the refresher. After I was done I looked in the mirror, bruises danced over my skin and I groaned.

"I look like a blasted connect the dots puzzle."

I walked back out there and his eyes watched me in a way that made me blush. "I need to get back to my quarters and dress for work."

He sat up and the sheet slipped down his frame. Who would have known under that uniform laid such a toned body? My eyes watched it and I lost my train of thought. He pulled me into his lap and gave me a long kiss. My hands traveled up and down his back and the kiss grew. He bit down on my lip and I moaned as my nails scratched lightly up and down his back. After several long moments I finally came to me senses and got up. I picked up my clothes and began dressing. He spoke as I was dressing

" Allora we will talk again, this is far from over."

I left, walking to my quarters but all the while wanting to go back.


	23. Chapter 23

_Chapter 23_

_**I entered my room glad no one else was around, removed my clothes and walked into the refresher. I let the steaming hot water pound against my skin. I was struggling against the need to go back there Spock; to touch his face and be near him. It scared me. I dressed in my most restricting under clothes minimizing my curves and my most plain uniform and tightly braided my hair. I looked in the mirror and it would have worked but for my eyes. They held a secret that they had held not before. My breath hissed out slowly. Crap and other bad words I learned from Kirk filled my head. I clipped on my com and walked out my room and right into Spock. I jumped back and would have hit the wall if he had not stopped my action. He laughed the blasted Vulcan laughed. I ground my teeth and the urge to hit him was strong. I fought back the redness I knew was in my cheeks and looked coolly at him. "Yes Commander?" **_

_**He shook his head. "Too late for that Lieutenant." **_

_**He said and placed a swift kiss on my lips.**_

_**He walked to the turbo lift and stood near me as it climbed to the bridge. What happened to my cool logical Vulcan and what the heck was I going to do now? I felt him laugh and knew he had heard my voice. By pure will power I fought back my groan. The door opened and Spock's face went to its normal position, of a logical and remote mask. The Ensign nodded to us and rode up the entire way to the bridge. The door opened and we walked off. Kirk and McCoy turned watching Spock. It was easy to tell the Pon Farr was no longer gripping him, they both in unison looked at me.**_

_**Oohhhhhhhhhhh .**_

**I felt myself turn red all over and strode to my chair. I ignored them both wishing the floor would swallow me whole. The morning passed in a blur as we headed to another planet that needed our help. My stomach rumbled as I noticed it was lunchtime. When I saw that Spock, Kirk and McCoy were busy I quickly walked to the turbo lift and pushed the button. **

_**Hurry up, come on you blasted machine.'**_

**The door opened and I slipped in, and much to my embarrassment so did the three men I was trying to avoid. There was a flurry of bad words that went through my head. I stood rock still praying for a miracle when the door opened at the next level and Uhura walked in.**

_**Thank you**_

**Proof God still existed was Uhura standing right there. I moved towards her smiling though I know she could see the pleading in it. She took pity on me and began talking about a problem she was having with a translation. We talked as the men listened. The doors opened and we went into the dining room. Several people needed my attention with problems they were having and although I was hungry my main job was ship's counselor.**

**I stood off to the side talking to the man and his wife. She was pregnant and I could feel the life force of the baby strongly in her. The baby moved and I touched her stomach calming it. The desire to have a baby came out of no-where and floored me. I ignored it and finished the conversation, making them an appointment in about thirty minutes. I walked over to the others and someone had already ordered lunch for me. I sat down and McCoy spoke up. "Something wrong?"**

**I looked up into his hazel eyes. "Jennifer is worried about the baby theirs is the first mixing of that particular DNA." McCoy nodded. "That is normal, but if the DNA was not meant to mix she would have never conceived." I smiled. "You and I both know that McCoy but she has never been pregnant before and is frightened, this is normal."**

**I quickly ate and stood. **

"**I have to go I have a meeting with them." McCoy stood as well. **

"**I should join you." I thought on it and nodded. "**

**Yes that is a good idea." I nodded to Kirk and Uhura. My gaze landed on Spock and I fell silent**

**. "I'll see you later Lieutenant Commander." **

**I bowed after he spoke and left with McCoy beside me. He was silent at first and then spoke.**

"**The Pon Farr is gone isn't it?" I sighed deeply. "Yes, why do I feel you're not all together happy with this?" **

**His hand stopped me. "You are right but not for the reason's you think."**

**He looked off.**

"**I knew after I healed you had developed a crush on me."**

**I blushed and he laughed. "**

**It was a wonderful feeling, one I grew used to. When I saw you again all those years later, I was carrying an angry heart. You have helped heal me from that. You're a beautiful, kind, and passionate woman, who I care about a lot. I saw something forming with you and Spock and felt a flicker of jealousy over the thought of you no longer having a crush on me. Illogical, as Spock would say but never the less true." **

**He cupped my face and kissed my forehead.**

"**If you ever change your mind or if that pointy ear bastard ever hurts you let me know." He grinned wickedly and I blushed again. **

**I pushed at him laughing. "Oh step off Bones."**

**We walked to my office laughing. The next hour McCoy and I spent calming Jennifer down. She left looking more relaxed. **

"**Thank you Bones." **

**I hugged him and smiled as he left to head back to the Med-Bay. I sat down and waited on my next crewmen. The next hours were draining. One officer was cracking under the strain of his new command. Another was missing home and worrying about her sick sister. I leaned back in my chair drained. I was not even hungry. I walked to my quarters and begin to remove my restricting clothes as soon as the door closed. My skin itched so bad at having been confined so hard. I admit it had been stupid but at the time I felt it was needed stretched fully working out the kinks. Then I began unbraiding my hair. My skin began to tingle like some one was touching it. I turned and Spock sat there watching me with dark hungry eyes. I gulped in a deep breath of air. "What are you doing here?" He stood in a smooth movement and walked closer to me. "Waiting on you." His hand went to my hair and he ran his fingers through the very blond strands. **

"**It is almost like silk against my fingers."**

**I stood there transfixed at his actions. He pulled a strand down and it curled around my nipple. I blushed.**

"**I feel human and alive when I touch you. But not having talked to other Vulcan's about this, I can-not be sure this is not how other Vulcan's are around their mates." **

**I stiffened and backed off from him. "We are not mated Spock." He placed a large hand on my hip his touch branded me. **

"**We will be." **

**I blinked in shock. Arrogant, green blooded Vulcan. Just who did he think he was? **

"**The one you will agree to bond with and you know it." **

**He said answering my thought. **

**I made a hissing sound like steam escaping out of my mother's old teakettle. He took my face in his hands and kissed me senseless before I could lash out him. Like a struck match, my anger turned into passion. Later this would bother me but for now I went long with it. I thought of a way to get him back. I moved back and pushed him hard. Not expecting this move he tipped back and I pushed him again on to the bed. "Do not move." **

**I trailed my lips over his skin. **

**It looked like mine, but not. His cells were different and did not taste salty like human skin would. I trailed my tongue lower and lower. His breath became erratic. I laughed, turned about was fair play. I slipped his pants off and smiled at his form. "You Vulcans do not do anything half way do you?" **

**He looked at me confused, but before he could speak I twirled my tongue over his sensitive tip. He groaned out and I smiled again. I slipped him into my mouth and hummed. His body vibrated hard. "Allora…" **

**he panted and I grinned, big bad Vulcan, mercy to my power. I sucked harder and he arched, his body coming off the bed. **

"**Are you.." **

**More panting came from him.**

"**enjoying your self?" **

**He forced out between gritted teeth. I laughed and just moved faster. Soon it became too much for him and he exploded. I laughed and left to clean up. When I came out he had a dazed look on his face. I walked over to the sexy bare Vulcan in my bed and purred. **

"**Like that Spock?" **

**He let out a weak laugh. **

"**They did not teach us that." I let out a bark of laughter.**

"**What?" He blushed a soft green color. **

"**We are taught how to be intimate with our mates. To please them, but no where did they teach us on how they could please us." I laughed. **

"**Well lucky you, I took a different class." He grinned and pulled me too him. I adored the way he smelled. I felt such strong love for this man it made my heart twist but I said nothing and soon I drifted off to sleep. **


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**__I awoke to being alone. A wave sadness hit me till my door opened. Spock walked in looking clean and dressed. I looked at him stunned and the smell of Klingon coffee hit me. How did he know? I sat up and his eyes watched the blanket slip down my bare skin. I laughed and brought it back up. _

_I heard him whisper "Darn." "Some one has been hanging around Kirk to much." _

_I laughed and reached out for the coffee._

"_Give me, give me." _

_He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "What will I get in return?" I pulled him to me and gave him a deep hard kiss. When I pulled back he had a dazed look on his face and I took the coffee from him. He swallowed and his voice sounded hoarse. "I'll have to bring you coffee more often if it gets me kissed like that." _

_I laughed and sipped the hot strong coffee. "Hmmmmmmmmm good stuff." _

_I watched him as he sat on the edge of my bed. Today was my day off. I leaned back watching him. _

"_Shouldn't you be at work?"_

_He shook his head. "I asked Sulu to cover my shift so I could be off today with you." _

_I was both touched and wary at the action. "Why?"_

_He took the coffee from me and pulled me into his lap. "To talk and spend time with you Allora." _

_His fingers played with my hair. _

"_This is as new for me as it is for you. I am used to being emotionally detached from everyone, except my mother. She was the only one I let my emotions come forth with. I trust Kirk but even with him I keep a certain level of detachment with. I spoke to my father this morning. I had to. He told me what I am feeling is the sign I have found what we call a true mate, one, that we are truly meant to be with. My mother was such a one for him that is why he defied the elders to be with her." _

_His fingers ran down my scalp to my neck finding the knot there. His talented hands worked the knot out and I relaxed against him. "It is still to fast Spock." _

_He tilted my face up so I had to look at him. "It has been almost six months since we met. How long do you think it takes Allora?" "Spock I am afraid to love. I am not normal. No." _

_I stopped him when he would have spoken. "I am a Tegonan." I felt him stiffen and my heart felt like it was shattering. I slipped off his lap._

"_Like I said I am not normal." I could see Spock scramble mentally to absorb my words. I slipped on a dress and ran out of my quarters. I went to the transporter room and had Scotty beam me down to the planet we were at. I checked my weapon and left my com near the tent where the other Enterprise officers where, then I went walking. _

_It was dark when I final stopped. I sat there on the edge of a cliff and I felt Anna walk up to me. "They are looking for you." _

_She spoke softly "I don't give a damn." _

_I lied. _

_"Did you tell them where I was?" "No but they will find you soon." _

_She sat down near me._

_"Spock looked like he had been hit. Then when he could not find you on the ship he seemed almost upset. He called McCoy and Kirk. They traced your com back to the tent. There are many on this planet and it will take time to find you. Is this what you want? To scare those that love you." I looked up at her with tear filled eyes. "Does he love me? I told him who I truly was and he pulled away... he stiffened." She breathed out hard. As an android she did not need to breathe, but did so not scare others. "Allora don't you think your being a little hard on him?" I glared at her. "He is a Vulcan they never do anything they do not mean." She brushed my hair off my face. "No species is perfect and he has human in him that is not easy to have a mixing of two such different bloods in oneself. Your race is an old one and a rumored to be very powerful. This you know to be true." _

_She looked at me waiting. "I thought my species were guardians and their powers were only there to protect?" She nodded. "Yes but sadly due to the Tuniks, the race that hunted your race, some of that information about them became twisted to further their hunt. A rumor spread that they where a super race, but where cold and at times violent, using their powers to take out any who opposed them" I shook my head not surprised. What other lies was out there spread by that hateful group of people, who hungered for power above all else. "I need time to think. Are you going to go back to the Enterprise?" "You know I can not. I am to protect you above all else, that is what I was created for." I felt horrible, I knew that Anna was falling in love with Scotty and I was sure the feeling was returned. "I am sorry." She grinned, and touched my shoulder. "Scotty will understand Allora, but I am not so sure Spock will the longer you are gone." I stood. "I'll be right back." I focused on Kirk's energy and fazed out when I came back to I was in his office. He looked upset and I wondered if it something else or because of me. Sensing he was no longer alone he turned in his chair. "Allora?" _

_He stood and walked to me_

_"Where the hell have you been?" I wrapped my arms around my waist so very cold. His face went even more worried at this action. It was a very vulnerable action not like me at all. "Walking Captain, and searching. I need time off. I know your heading to another planet to drop off supplies and then back here for that report to see if the release of that chemical worked to stop that violent bug. Give me that time." He did not look happy, he leaned on his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. A very male action, women could not do that. I continued to look at him unwavering. "You and Spock fought?" _

_I lifted the side of my mouth in a half smirk. "He did not tell you Captain?" _

_Kirk shook his head. "You know Spock, he rarely ever speaks, but I could tell he was upset. He has been more withdrawn then normal. What is going on Allora?" I took a deep breath. "I told him who I am Captain, a Tegonan," I waited, Kirk laughed warmly. "I already knew." I gaped at him stunned. "How? McCoy would not have betrayed me." Kirk shook his head. "Pike was still under the control of that creature when he was rambling, he did not mean to. He talked about your mother and then you. He was so worried about you. He told me the truth about you and your race. He did not mean to betray you Allora. I never mentioned this to him and I think he does not remember telling me." I nodded and relaxed. "He would never consciously betray me, I know this. Although, what I requested still holds true I need time off" I could tell he did not like this, he looked at me directly in the eye. "Are you running Allora?" His voice was so soft. "Are you scared of me Kirk?" _

_He blinked at me stunned._

_"Many are afraid of my race Captain, so I ask again. Are you scared of me Captain." _

_I waited unknowing my face reflected how vulnerable I uncrossed his arms and walked slowly to me. He then took me by the shoulders and drew me into a hug. It was a caring hug. "I have and always will trust you with my very life Allora." I felt my self-tremble. "Thank you Kirk, you are a good friend. I am honored to know you." I stepped back. "I will not leave this planet I promise. I'll be here when you get back. But he needs time to think just as I do." Kirk nodded. "Fine but I still do not like it." I grinned at this stubborn man. I bowed to him and fazed out._

_I flickered into Spock's room and stood in the shadows. Alone and unknowing I was there he looked haunted. My heart contracted and I flickered out._


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

When I was back on the planet and Anna's dark eyes studied me. The wind blew her dark hair off her face and one would be fooled into thinking she was young. Her mind was very old. It held the wisdom of my people and their memories. I walked over to her and bag appeared next to her. I laughed at her actions. "I am staying dear one, till you go back I will be here with you."

Her voice was firm and I hugged her. I sat down and looked off to the now dark sky. I slowly started to drift to sleep missing that blasted Vulcan. I dreamed of him. I was lying on his bed watching him sleep he looked tired even asleep, he turned and I touched his face. His eyes opened at my touch. "I did not meant to hurt you. I reacted in a way that was illogical and for that I am sorry." I drew in a deep breath. In this dream I was not afraid. "I can not help who I am Spock. I would never hurt another. The rumors about my people are mostly lies." His eyes traced my face. "I know that, I only reacted stunned that your race still existed and that you were one." I traced my fingers over his face. "Sleep Spock you need it." He fought the pull to go into a deeper sleep from my voice. "You will come back."

It was a statement not a question, typical Spock. I laughed and leaned over. I gave him a soft kiss. "Yes, now get the sleep you so very much need." His eyes fluttered close and I drifted out of thought. The first week all I did was talk to Anna. She told me all she knew about my species and what they where. The stories she told me amazed me. My people believed in a higher power, which had created them to protect the other life forms. Our powers were a gift to be used to guard and protect. My species had the ability to bend thought and time but doing so was strictly foreboded unless there was no other choice. The consequences were too high. She told me about my father and his love of music. He loved to play something called a guitar and piano while singing. She showed me these things and I became slightly obsessed with learning both. I would sit on the edge of the cliff singing the songs of my people as the sun went down. But I was not at peace, despite all I had learned. I missed the ship and my friends. I above all else missed Spock. I dreamed of him but it was not the same. The second week she taught me about my powers and how to use them. Most were basic and did not bother me. I adored the healing one the most, especial in the gift of a song. It felt good knowing I could help others, though it drained me a lot. There were a couple powers that frightened me and I learned about them but did not practice them. Mainly the bending time one and the one that could destroy in a massively way. I shivered at the thought of either. The greater the power the more it drained me. I had one weakness. I need contact. Many times we would walk to the village below and talk to the people. I would hold the babies and make them giggle. As a protection method against my people becoming detached from those we protected we were required to touch and interact, or we got violently sick and weak. The children offered such innocent love to me. My time was up I could feel the Enterprise in orbit. I took a deep breath and nodded to Anna. "I know you miss him, go." She hesitated. "I'll be along shortly Anna I promise." She nodded and left to find Scotty. I looked down at the little girl I was telling a story to. I kissed her soft check and smiled. "I'll miss you Angea, be a good girl for your mother." She giggled and walked off. I stood and brushed off my clothes. I walked to my camp and transferred all of it back to the Enterprise. I heard movement off to the side and turned. The main crew was there. I faced them, knowing I looked at mess. I was wearing an old faded shirt that was stretched to the point it hung off one shoulder. My jeans, an earth-clothing article that Kirk showed me, were dirty and torn in one knee. My hair was loose and out of regulations. Uhura laughed. "Hello wild woman." I blushed and shrugged a shoulder. "Who was I to empress?" I still smoothed back my hair and looked at the cliff. Kirk walked up to me. "We need to go there is a planet out there with some very sick people. I am sorry to be so abrupt." I smiled and nodded. "Understood Captain."

I looked at McCoy and grinned.

"I learned a new trick, I am now a cool Doctor like you." McCoy laughed. "In your dreams, oh feisty one." I blushed at the statement of dreams and my eyes flickers to Spock. His face was a stony mask I could not read and it hurt. I walked past him and the others to the shuttle. I sat and did not speak. I saw McCoy glare at Spock and mutter something about him being a green cold blooded Vulcan. I looked off watching the stars fly by. The shuttle moved smoothly at Sulu's hands into the ship and I waited, once it was docked we all filed out and I moved swiftly to my room. I did not say anything hurt by Spock's withdrawal. I moved to the turbo lift and it moved to my deck. I got off and as I moved to my room. Spock's hand griped my arm in an almost painful grasp. I stiffened and try to pull away. He did not allow it. He pulled me close to him and moved me to my room. The door opened and we walked in. "Let me go."

He looked at me not speaking. He pushed me against the wall and held me there with his body. "You're hurting me Spock." He dropped his hand and his deep voice rang out. "Was that you with me in my dreams?" I stifled a gasp. I had thought they were just dreams, guess not. "I guess so." He raised that quizzical eyebrow of his. "Stop being illogical." I tiled my head up to him and said nothing. He finally sat facing me. "I meant what I said about my reaction to your words even if it was in a dream." I nodded and drummed my fingers on the wall, to burn off the energy rolling off me. He watched and then final gripped my hand. "Stop Allora." I leaned back and took a calming breath. "I am illogical Spock. I am not you." His fingers almost caressed mine as he held onto my hand. "I am not asking you to be like me Allora."

His voice was calm and I watched his long fingers run over mine. "Then what do you want Spock?"

My voice was soft in the quiet room. He leaned down and buried his face into my neck. Chills ran up and down my skin

"For you to give us a chance. I am amazed on how logical and remote I can be to all but you. When you were gone it was like something was missing in me. No amount of mediation or logical thinking fixed it." I felt tears fill my eyes and slip down my cheek. Spock's other hand came up and traced a tear. My eyes looked into his and I saw my self in them. He leaned over and placed his forehead on mine. I felt peace and that spot in me that was aching, stopped at this action. Our breath mingled and I relaxed.

"Oh Spock I have missed you." I felt tension, I did not even know was in him, drain out of him at my words. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. It was a very human action that stunned me. "I am quite human with you Allora, no one else. You won't tell will you?"

He joked and I laughed in almost a stunned way. "Your secret is safe with me, my Imzadi" Spock's eyes opened and looked at me intensely.

"That is Betazoid? What does that mean?" He asked. I smiled at him. "I'll tell you another time." We stayed there a long time. Not speaking just being there near each other, with our faces and bodies touching.


	26. Chapter 26

I felt my self in the mist of a nightmare. The planet around me was screaming in pain. I was the only light, as the people where dying. I kept trying over and over to save them, but nothing was of use. It was so hot and there was no relief. Over and over I thrashed seeking relief. A cool hand touched my face.

"My thoughts to your thoughts, my mind to your mind. We are one." Spock's voice whispered in my mind but I could not respond. "She is having a vision of what seems to be the planet we are heading for Captain. The people are dying although she is fighting to save them. I am trying to pull her out of the vision but it has quite a hold on her mind"

I felt him push into my mind and in my vision I saw him stand there calmly.

"Allora you must let this vision go, go can not help them in here."

My raw eyes looked around me and I whispered.

"Why can't I save them Spock? Look at them suffering. It hurts so bad."

I screamed in reaction to their pain. Spock cupped my face and laid his forehead against mine.

"Because this is just a vision, it is not real. The only thing you can do here is suffer. Allora come out of here with me."

His hands traced my face.

I knew he was trying to distract me pull me into his mind so my mind would let go of this vision. He leaned forward and placed a warm kiss on my lips. I felt the vision began to fade and my breath ease as the heat began to dissipate. My eyes fluttered open and Spock's forehead was against mine. I let out a soft whimper of pain, and his eyes opened.

"It is ok Lieutenant your safe."

He kept his hand on my face sensing my need for his centering touch.

"I couldn't stop them from dying."

My voice sounded weak.

McCoy stepped forward and checked my vitals.

"You scared the crap out of us Allora, I have never seen you have a vision like that."

He touched my shoulder as if needed to know I was ok. I reached up and relaxed more. It was funny how much these three men had come to mean so much to me. Kirk, was mister brash and bold, he kept me from getting too serious. McCoy always providing that gentle warm so when I was afraid. Spock, how I ever thought this Vulcan was cold was beyond me. I leaned up and Spock sat up.

"Are you fully with us now?"

Spock's calm voice echoed in the quiet room.

I looked around confused.

"I am in Med bay. How long was I trapped in that vision."

Kirk spoke up.

"Two days."

I left out a sound of stunned surprise.

"Oh no, I am so sorry. Are we there Captain?"

Kirk shook his head.

"Almost another half a day or so. Tell me what you saw?"

I closed my eyes and centered.

"A old virus that laid dormant, come to life when it was expose during something they where building. At one time they had become a immunized to it, but it had laid dormant for hundreds of years, they can not combat it now."

McCoy drew in a deep breath.

"Dam it, those are the worse."

I nodded and felt stupid laying there. I touched Spock's hand and stood.

"Am I fit for duty McCoy?"

I stood up straight, my body protested but I ignored it. I needed to go work out the kinks. McCoy's hazel eye searched my face and he nodded a bit reluctantly. I gave him a warm smile, to ease his thought. He was worried that I was pushing my self to hard and that it would come back to hurt me. His mind was playing that night all those years ago, where I was burning with a fever and he was not sure I was going to make it. He had sat on the edge of my bed. Stroking my face with a cold cloth singing an old song to me his mother had taught him. My heart contracted at the memory and on an impulse I hugged him.

"I am well McCoy, you saved me."

My voice was soft.

His hazel eyes where bright with tears.

"I was not sure I was going to. I refused to lose you to that monster."

I touched his face and nodded to Kirk.

"I am going to go work out and get my body working again."

I looked at Spock.

"Spar with me?"

He nodded and I saw a slight smile touch his lips. I looked off and fought a blush. Our spar's always seemed to have a sexual tension edge to them. We both walked out and stayed silent as we came to the rec. room. I went and changed into a loose cotton tank top and my black pants. I braided my hair and looked at my face. I was tired of my eyes looking so haunted, but feared that no matter what, it would never go away.

I began to stretch as Spock enter the room. I looked at him briefly. He was wearing a tight cotton black shirt and similar black pants as mine. Something very female in me reacted and I laughed. He looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

"Am I missing something?"

He sounded amused.

I blushed and shook my head. I went in warm up position and Spock matched me. For several minutes we moved side by side. It might have looked like a dance but it was an old form of martial arts warm up, called Tai chi. When we had worked out the muscles. We turned and faced each other.

"Ready Lieutenant?"

I laughed at his calm voice.

Spock was arrogant but not in a way he meant to be. He was just to smart for his own good. I had taught him this and he learned to darn fast. We began sparing. He came in low and fast. I jumped up and flipped over. My eyes flashed at him.

"Down cowboy."

His face went confused.

Mental note lay off the Earth metaphors unless around Kirk. I made a false hit to his neck and then brought a hit to his stomach. Stopping inches before contact. He caught my wrist and spun me in a hold. I was pinned against his hard frame. Not that I minded, I grinned and used my foot to push at his left knee. He made a soft noise and I spun under his arm he still had my wrist though. I hit his upper arm near the never and to keep me from making contact he let go. Our motions became harder and faster. Both of us where having fun. We never actual hit each other, but there was quite a bit of brushing of skin and 'accidentally' pinning. I was able to finally get in a blow that had I landed it would of knocked him out. He leaned back and conceded the match. I smirked and picked up a towel. I begin to dry off when his hands touched my shoulders. I turned and looked at him.

We had not been intimate since that night, while curing his Pon Farr. We had decided it was best, till we knew where this was going. Each time we would have been together would have pushed me to hard to join with him and I was not ready for that. He was slowing his breath and a green flush was at his skin from the exercise. His warm hand touched my shoulder and I leaned on his chest. Even though his heart was lower I could still feel it pounding. I was continually surprise at his actions. When he was around others but, Kirk, McCoy and me, he was almost cold. But here with his arms around me, his was almost human. It warmed me. His hand traced my back and I leaned up giving him a soft kiss.

" We need to clean up and head to the bridge Spock."

My voice was soft with regret and he nodded.


	27. Chapter 27

I left to the refresher and cleaned up. I slipped on my blue uniform and slipped up my hair. My body felt awake and functioning normally now. I walked back out there and Spock was waiting. I walked close to him and said nothing but raised his eyebrow. He looked bothered by something so I did something to distract him. I leaned up and bit his ear. His breath whispered out of his mouth and I laughed with pleasure.

"Tease."

His voice was husky with emotion.

"Yes, but only with you Spock."

I winked and we walked off to the bridge.

We had two more hours till we reached the planet. Anna had com'd me wanting to speak to me. I walked to her quarters and found her and Scotty there. He looked well nervous and I leaned against the wall.

"Yes?"

My voice was warm.

"I asked Anna to marry me."

He paused, waiting for my response.

I swore my heart stopped. Anna my best friend. She was an android, but not android. She could feel and react. And she could also age. I was stunned. My heart twisted and tears filled my eyes. I hugged Scotty to hide my almost painful reaction. I was happy for Anna and yet I hurt. I was confused to why.

"I am so happy for you both."

Anna relaxed at my words and tears rolled down my face.

"You have always been a sister to me and shall remain so Anna."

She laughed and hugged me so tight I could not breathe. I made a gurgling noise and she released me giggling. I coughed and laughed.

You'll be my maid of honor right?"

Her voice was giddy.

I nodded then I took a step back feeling trapped. I loved Anna so much. I felt like I was losing her and as I watched her and Scotty together, I knew I was happy but at the same time jealous. Scotty drew her into his arms and gave her a warm kiss. Anna was so innocent and sweet. She looked so tiny and happy in his arms. I grinned at them both and excused myself. I heard them talking excitedly as I left.

I walked to the rec room and sat down. My fingers hovered over the keys. I noted we had a hour before we reached the planet. Spock and Kirk where already talking to the Leader of the planet. So I began to play. The song had no words just sadness. I hummed in a low voice as my fingers glided along. After a bit I felt a hand touch my shoulder and my tear filled eyes looked at McCoy.

"Why does life have to hurt so bad when it should not?"

I whispered. He picked me up and placed me in his lap. I leaned on him and let myself sob.

"I do not under I am happy for Anna so why does it hurt?"

McCoy stroked my hair and he spoke in a soothing voice.

"You are afraid of love Allora. What Harlen did to you scarred you. You trusted in him and love in a young way. He betrayed you and hurt you very badly. You are scared to trust and love again." His words made sense.

Once again I wondered why it was not McCoy I loved. He was handsome and smart. Kind and gentle, yet he did not make my heart skip a beat, or heat flood my body. I felt a gentle passion for him that I think had more to do with our mental bond then real flesh passion. I stayed there in his arms for a while leaning on his gentle strength. I leaned up and shook my head.

"I do believe my country gentleman, that I am crazy."

His laughter rumbled through the room.

"You just now noticed that?"

I pinched his side and slid out of his lap in a haughty way.

"Meanie."

But my voice held gentle love.

He grinned and nodded.

"Tough love that is what all doctors recommend."

I snorted.

"That is because they are all bull headed."

We both laughed hard, at the old joke. I cleaned up my face and hugged his frame hard. Comforted by this gentleman.

"Thanks for putting up with my silliness Bones."

He kissed my forehead.

"Anytime miss Feisty."

We smiled and he left. I looked around the empty room and cleaned up. I left feeling better, but still a little sad. I walked slowly to the bridge trying to gather my thoughts. Loving McCoy would be easy, but my heart refused to feel that way. Of all people why this Vulcan? We where so different. This would not be an easy path. My hands tingled and I looked down noticing a blue flame around them. I gasped out and it vanished. I looked around terrified some one else had seen it. Noticing I was alone I relaxed. I walked to the bridge but my mind was not on the mission.

We sat in orbit for three hours till we could be positive we could get down there with out infecting our selves. The scene on the planet as we beamed down in our Bio suites was just like my vision. I shook under the onslaught of pain and death. Spock touched my arm feeling the waves of unbalance coming form me. I straightened at his touch and forced calm.

The planet was hot and we where under the protective suites. Hours passed by and all we could do in many cases was ease their pain as they died. My eyes began to burn with unshed tears. I could feel McCoy's frustration and rage at this virus growing. It was like nothing we had ever seen before. The deaths from it where violent and painful. I pulled away from the emotions as much as I could but by the end of the day it was getting to much.

I walked to Kirk and spoke softly.

"Forgive me Captain. I need to get back to the ship. I am becoming burnt out. I am so sorry."

His worried blue eyes looked into mine, what ever he saw gave him pause.

"Go and only come back if you can."

I nodded ashamed at my self. I flipped open my com and Scotty beamed me back. I was decontaminated and I sat there shaking. Anna touched my shoulder. My burning eyes looked at her.

"Teach me more about the gift of healing song Anna."

My voice was scratchy with unshed tears. She nodded and we walked to the garden Sulu was taking care of. She sat down and I followed her. She pulled out a plant and cut it badly. I flinched at its pain. I centered my self and let the powers in me awaken. My skin tingled in away it had never before. I began to sing in a low smooth voice I had not even known I could sing in. At first nothing happened as the plant slowly died. I sunk father into my self. I noticed a white glow around the plant and it slowly began to heal. I continued this action until I was drained.

I looked up at her and gave a weak smile.

"I think I am getting it."

Anna nodded.

"Yes but you need rest, come out to dinner with me and Scotty?"

I stood and cleaned up. We walked silent to the dinning room. Scotty stood and gave Anna a soft kiss and I smiled with pleasure. We sat and made small talk, but soon after dinner my energy failed. Scotty and Anna helped me to my room and I collapsed exhausted into bed. I was so drained I did not even dream.

The next morning I walked to the bridge slowly. The doors opened and I signaled to Kirk.

"I need to train with Anna about something. I think I have a way to help McCoy."

He touched my shoulder and nodded.

"Be safe."

I smiled and pressed my com.

"Anna met me in Med-Bay."

I waved to him and Spock then left.

Anna was at Med-Bay door and we walked in. McCoy looked up.

"What can I do you Allora?"

I smiled widely.

"Let me play doctor?"

He gave wicked laugh.

"With who?"

I blushed.

"Oh shut up."

I walked over to a patient laughing as I went. I begin to sing as I did last night. As before nothing happened to I forced my self-deeper. Then the wound on his arm healed. I grinned with delight. I rested a moment then moved to the next one. Her wounds where more serious. I began to sing and after a while her burns on her arm healed, but when I went to stand I fainted.

When I came through McCoy was shaking his head at me.

"Lord save me from stubborn woman."

I kissed his cheek and left back to me room. I meditated most of the night.


	28. Chapter 28

The next day played out like a bad scene in my head as it happened.

Bones sitting over the computer as Kirk paced. I could see Spock out of the corner of my eye, silent as usual watching all with his eyes every once in a while flickering to me, as if wondering what I was thinking. I was guarding my thoughts, normally Betazoid's where the master at this, but Spock's and I bond was getting stronger.

Bones voice drew my attention to him.

"I just do not get it Captain they are dying and I do not how to stop it. I have run ever test"

His voice was almost a whisper.

Kirk agitated ran his hand through his hair.

"How can we not know?"

He growled.

Spock turned his head.

"It is illogical to think we would know everything Captain."

His deep voice project a calm, I refused to feel this time. In my heart I knew the answer, I also knew they would not like it.

Finally Kirk turned to me, as I knew he would. His blue eyes searched my face.

"What do you see Allora? Have you figured out what you needed to the last two days with Anna?"

He only called me by my first name around, Bones and Spock. I took a deep breath hating my next words.

"There is a cure Kirk."

My voice was echoing in the room.

"But you will not like it"

He stiffened and looked at me. He knew my tone and it bothered him.

"And?"

He demanded.

I sighed deeply. Humans, I thought, such passionate stubborn creatures.

"And it requires sacrifice" My eyes flickered to Bones pain echoing in them. Bones, my dear friend ever sensitive to my moods stood fast.

"HELL NO"

He barked.

I smiled sadly.

"It is the only way. I have trained and I am stronger Bones trust me"

I felt movement, as I turned Spock was next to me.

"What am I missing? Are you being illogical again?"

He voice questioned me.

I knew him well enough to hear a flicker of emotion in his voice. I fought my emotions. If he read my thoughts he would stop me. Pain swamped me. I reached out and touched his face. His hand covered mine and even though I was blocking he sensed something. His hand tightened around mine as if trying to hold me there.

"Be at peace my imzadi"

His whiskey eyes narrowed at my tone.

Then will all the will power I had, I shimmered out. I heard Bones and Kirk roar out calling back, but it was Spocks' face that cut me to the core. I saw a single tear run down his face and then I saw nothing but blackness.

Months I wandered this disease infested planet. My gift of healing song ringing out. Many days I was so weak, I had to fight to breathe. Slowly the planet began to fight back from the disease and the people begin to heal. Then my strength ebbed and left. As the peaceful darkness claim me, I wondered if I would ever see the Enterprise again?


	29. Chapter 29

I felt a cold breeze on my skin, how long I had been in the in between I do not know. I opened my eyes and at first I saw nothing, then soft light. I was in the Med-Bay, but some how I knew the Enterprise had not brought me here. I sat up and walked to the office. McCoy was a sleep on his side cot. He looked so tired and I knew my absence had weighed on him. I reached out and touched his face.

"Sleep McCoy the deep sleep you need. I am well."

His face finally relaxed and he sunk into a deep peaceful sleep. I walked on and too where I sensed Anna. She was curled up next to Scotty and he was talking to her in a low voice. She looked sad, I knew she was thinking of me. I left them in peace.

Then I came to Spock's door and walked in.

_I shouldn't be here.' I thought, 'He might reject me, he had ever right too._

I shivered in the room as if cold. How long had I been gone? A month? Probably more. I looked upon the sleeping man. Would he? Could he forgive me? I had saved the people and almost died to do it, but the needs of the many out way the needs of the few and most definitely the one. I walked closer to his bed.

The need to touch his skin strong. I had missed him so. I knelt down and laid a hand on his bare chest. His skin was warm surprisingly for a Vulcan; but then again he had human blood flowing thorough him. He shifted and I breathed in hard. I watch his chest rise and lower very slowly. It always amazed me how Vulcans barely seemed to breathe. Pain was racking me it was time to leave. I went to move my hand off his chest, when with no warning his hand gripped mine. I let out a startled breath and my eyes flew to his.

"Spock."

My voice was barely a whisper, but I knew he heard me.

His eyes study me as if wondering if I was real. I tried to pull my hand away and his tighten around mine. Not enough to hurt me, but enough to remind me of his strength. My heartbeat kicked up strongly as his eyes searched me looking for something. I leaned from him afraid. There was a flicker of movement and he sat up.

"I forgot how fast you can move."

I let out a startled, nervous laugh.

"Indeed"

His voice low and calm, as his hand held mine to his bare skin.

I thought to myself.

_Bones is right, he really is a pointy-eared bastard. I had made a mistake. I should not of come, I wanted nothing more then, to leave. Away from this ship and away from his eyes. It was too much it hurt._

"Dam it Spock speak, do something or let me go. I will not play games with you."

My voice rushed out of me.

His hands tightened more as if he sensed my need to flee, his grip tightened almost to the point of pain.

"What would you like me to say?"

Still such calm his voice reflected. I wanted to slap him, such violent thoughts where not normally me.

I couldn't help my self.

"You really are a pain in my butt"

That, quizzical eyebrow of his rose.

"I have not touched that area how can I have brought it pain?"

His voice was questioning.

I could not help it I laughed.

"Must you be so logical Spock? Must you be so cold? I should not of come. It was foolish of me. Now let me go."

My voice was empty showing no emotion. His other hand came to my face and traced a tear I did not even know I had cried as it fell down my face.

"If I let you go you will leave. That would be illogical. As I do not wish you to. You think I am cold? That is where you are wrong. And no I will no release you. You will stay here."

His voice held a command.

I saw red at his soft-spoken command.

_How dare he order me! How dare he try to control me, that pointy-eared bastard I'd fix him. _

I opened my mouth to lash out at him, when his hand tightened on my face holding it there and his lips where on my before I could draw breath, with almost bruising force. The kiss was hard and devastating.

I forced my self to pull back.

"Are you punishing me?"

He said nothing at first then spoke.

"No but this needs to end Allora. Vulcans do not do this. We mate for life. You are my mate, why must you fight this?"

I lost my anger at his words. I reached up and traced his face, then his ears. He shivered at my action and his hand tightened.

"Please don't"

My face went confused.

"You have been gone a while. I have been.."

He paused.

"lost without you here. You actions though pleasing are hard on me."

I dropped my hand. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I knew what he wanted. But was I ready for this?

So many flashes went through my head as Spock sat there. His hand never released mine. I remember that day lying broken on the ground promising never to trust another man again. Never to believe the lies they spoke. But Spock was not Harlen; could I really even try to believe the words he spoke where lies? No, in my heart I knew I could not.

"What are you thinking Allora?"

I looked into his eyes.

"Can't you tell Spock?"

He shook his head.

"Your thoughts are guarded more then I have even known them to be."

I nibbled on my lip torn. He raised a finger and pulled my lip out.

"Stop your making yourself bleed."

I felt heat come to my cheeks and licked the blood off my lip. His eyes fluttered close and he made a sound as if in pain.

"Spock?"

His hand twitched and he opened his eyes.

"I have heard the expression sweet torture before, but never understood it till now. After all it made no sense. After all how could torture be sweet? Now I know."

His voice trailed off to a whisper.

My heart pounded so loud, I knew he had to have heard it. How could he speak such words that made me feel like I was floating? I felt a shiver run through me. How could I deny this man I loved so much?

"You killing me Spock." His face went confused.

"How I have not laid a hand on you? How are you hurting that I have caused?"

A sad smile filled my lips and I placed a hand over my heart.

"Here Spock. I hurt here."

My voice was raw with emotion and he sucked in a deep breath. He pulled me into his lap and held me so tight at first I couldn't breath. He laid his face against my neck and his breath on my skin caused me to shiver

"Imzadi means beloved Allora. I looked it up. How could you call me that, that day and then deny me now?"

I felt his pain and tears rolled down my face.

"Because I am a illogical coward Spock. I promised my self never to be vulnerable again, and yet here I am stripped bare with you."

I heard him make a soft sound of pain.

"You think you are alone? You keep thinking you know so much about Vulcan's but you do not. We are vulnerable to those we are mated with Allora. For they know all of us there is no secrets."

I tiled my head back and looked into his whiskey eyes.

"Promise Spock."

He traced a finger down my face.

"Vulcan's do not lie."

I laughed.

"Is that so?" I grinned. "No just an (omentance) ..sp?.. of the truth huh?"

A green coloring came to his cheek and he smiled.

"At times but not here and not now."

I knew he was telling the truth. I held out two fingers together, my pointer and middle, towards him. His eyes flickered to mine.

"Are you sure Allora?"

He was using that deep voice that made me shiver with hunger.

"Yes."

I whispered the word.

His fingers went out and trace mine in a mirror holding. His face seemed to soften and he seemed almost entranced as he watched the action with his eyes. His breath came in stronger and I could tell he was aroused. He paused and waited. I then repeated the action he had just made, to his fingers and his breath rushed out of him. He moved in a graceful way and pinned me to the bed.

"Allora."

He said nothing more then my name, but it was spoken with such hunger. His lips traveled to my neck and I arched it as a whimper escaped my lips. His teeth scraped my neck and the whimper turned into a moan. My body moved restlessly. He got up fast and slipped off his shirt.

"Finish it My Ashaya."

His voice was a command.

I stood and pushed him to the bed. I slipped off my clothes enjoying the way his eyes traced my skin. I slid on to his lap.

"I do not know if this will hurt Spock."

He stayed silent watching me.

I kissed him with soft passion and let my mouth open to his as the kiss deepened. Then I slowly pulled back. I trailed my lips down his neck to where his pulse beat. I felt his fingers bite into my hips. I moved my mouth over his pounding skin, once then twice.

"Allora.."

His voice was a growl and I laughed.

I felt my teeth lengthen and I bit down. A sound escaped him, but it was not of pain as I feared it would be, but of great pleasure. His hips lifted and he grounded his hardness into me. I drank of him, amazed at the copper taste. He let out a moan of pleasure then he went lax a small shudders ran through him. I pulled back and sealed the bite with my tongue.

"Spock?"

I looked at him worried. He looked dazed but other then that very well.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked almost drunk, though I have never known Spock to drink.

" Yes My Ashaya?"

I relaxed at his soft voice.

"Guess your ok then."

I leaned on his chest and I felt him cup my head up.

"This is not over."

Something very wild rose in me and I stood.

"No Spock enough."

I stepped back refusing to finish this.

I would not let him bond him self to me, that would give him power over me. What the heck was I doing a voice whispered in my head. You started this finish it. NO he will control me. I was being irrational. He reached out and grabbed my hand. I let out a scream of terror, which startled him.

"NO NO NO you will not hurt me."

I was shaking with rage and fear.

Spock looked confused at my actions.

"He wanted my blood so he could control me use me. I will not be controlled or use."

My voice was raw.

Spock went to calm me but I lashed out causing his hand to hit me. A ragged tear opened at my throat and I hissed in pain. Spock's hands dropped, as he looked in horror at the bleeding cut. Although the cut upset him but the pain caused me to snap out of this painful memory.

"Harlen wanted my blood, so he could control me. Once you take my blood I would never be able to deny you anything you wanted of me."

My voice was now back to normal.

Spock's eyes searched my still pale face. There was now sadness in them.

"Do you really think I would try to control you or hurt you Allora?"

I looked down and felt blood trickling down my neck, it felt both cold and hot. As did I. Dear God what had I done? I love Spock, I trust him. I looked up and a tear was rolling down his face.

"No Spock, I do not."

I walked up to him and he watched me almost weary. I cupped the back of his neck and brought his face to mine. I placed a long soft loving kiss on his lips and felt him relax.

I then pulled back and brought his lips to my wound.

"I trust you Spock."

His breath tickled my neck then he completed the act I did to his neck to mine. I felt my body tightened almost in unbearable pleasure. I felt my knees go weak and his arm caught me holding me to him. I felt such pleasure. I could not move or think. Then the world exploded. I felt my self-come back together but not in the same way, nor would I ever be the same again. He lifted his mouth from my neck and gave me a deep passionate kiss. In the way of his people and mine, where joined together for life, we where now life mates. I shook stunned at this thought.

His voice echoed in my head,

_You are mine, now and forever, imzadi. _

As my thoughts scattered under the bruising passion of his kiss, one thought echoed then faded out.

_Complete_

Finally, I was complete.


End file.
